ok, well, i'm in pain. a certain silly girl dropped me on my knees and then on my back ... i'm not very sure how it happened, but i think it was sort of fun and it is definitely painful now that i am not full of vodka and jagermeister. i think i am getting too old for these sorts of things. no, i am getting too old for these sorts of things.
school starts in a few days... i'm not sure i had a break. i've been intentionally bored for the past couple weeks... i've avoided phones, responsibilities, shows, social gatherings and a multitude of other things because these past few months almost burnt me out for good.
i have to stay focused... i have to graduate in may. i never graduated from high school, so this is sort of important to me. for reasons beyond getting a silly degree.
it hurts that he is indifferent. no, it hurts that you are indifferent. i don't care if you read this. you probably do. it's not like you make yourself very accessible to me anyways. you say just enough to salvage whatever in the fuck is left. and then nothing. i'm sick of it. it makes me cry. i'm done crying, and you just yell at me when i cry anyways. and i'm done with salvation.
but whatever.
i am scared to think of what will come after may... i will have to leave everything that has become comfortable. i'll have to actually make things happen for me again. i haven't had to do that in a long time. school has been the weirdest combination of being stagnant and progression, at the same time. fuck. well, it'll happen. i've done it before. it's just a little intimidating to reorient and totally change, in the beginning, at least. but then it gets easier, yes? i think i forget that i can do it when i haven't in a while. but then, doesn't everyone? i can't wait, though.
i'm pretty sure i'm leaving michigan when i graduate. maybe new york, maybe seattle, maybe paris, maybe back to chicago. well, wherever i can get a job, really. i've got to eventually settle in somewhere, i think. am i supposed to do that a certain age?
anyways,
where i end up ... who knows. it should be a fun journey though.
if you can get me a job i will clean your house in a seafoam green underpants and nothing else. for infinity. plus one.
school starts in a few days... i'm not sure i had a break. i've been intentionally bored for the past couple weeks... i've avoided phones, responsibilities, shows, social gatherings and a multitude of other things because these past few months almost burnt me out for good.
i have to stay focused... i have to graduate in may. i never graduated from high school, so this is sort of important to me. for reasons beyond getting a silly degree.
it hurts that he is indifferent. no, it hurts that you are indifferent. i don't care if you read this. you probably do. it's not like you make yourself very accessible to me anyways. you say just enough to salvage whatever in the fuck is left. and then nothing. i'm sick of it. it makes me cry. i'm done crying, and you just yell at me when i cry anyways. and i'm done with salvation.
but whatever.
i am scared to think of what will come after may... i will have to leave everything that has become comfortable. i'll have to actually make things happen for me again. i haven't had to do that in a long time. school has been the weirdest combination of being stagnant and progression, at the same time. fuck. well, it'll happen. i've done it before. it's just a little intimidating to reorient and totally change, in the beginning, at least. but then it gets easier, yes? i think i forget that i can do it when i haven't in a while. but then, doesn't everyone? i can't wait, though.
i'm pretty sure i'm leaving michigan when i graduate. maybe new york, maybe seattle, maybe paris, maybe back to chicago. well, wherever i can get a job, really. i've got to eventually settle in somewhere, i think. am i supposed to do that a certain age?
anyways,
where i end up ... who knows. it should be a fun journey though.
if you can get me a job i will clean your house in a seafoam green underpants and nothing else. for infinity. plus one.
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
Man, I totally feel you on the intentional boredom. That's my secret to success in school. If I don't employ this gem of a strategem, I get hosed.
I'm graduating at the end of summer. I'll be in a similar boat with you. If I wear a skimpy little bikini brief, can I hop onto your little "will work for semi-nude cleaning" scam"?