it's strange when you're walking alone in the dark and strangers are saying your name as you pass. i didn't even turn back and wonder what it was. it's probably good that i didn't. it's always a blur anyways.
i keep dreaming about her. make it stop. it's still the same. doing everyday things and really happy, and then just before i wake up i realize she's not alive anymore.
now i feel bad, don't make it stop. i don't want her to think i want her to go away. it's all i have left. that's probably why they don't stop. is that a manifestation of guilt?
i am starting to get a little belly, and i never had one. i am rather excited with this development, so i decided i should name it. jnthn named it for me.
it's named CLIFF HUXTABLE.
this year i resolve to
.swim a lot more
.find my old life in which i did what i wanted when i wanted instead of working and studying all the damn time
.call my friends more
.not look so mean. or start punching people in their fucking jaw when they say 'don't look so mean!'
.not feel obliged to get married and/or have kids when i turn 27
.move far far away. but within driving distance to my family. or get rich so i can just fly to see them a lot.
.save money and stop getting calls from the bill collectors
.start doing kung fu or judo
.get some tattoos finished
.continue to stop with the no smoking thing
.graduate and get a job
.find a new fucking haircut
.fight the urge to get my monroe pierced. i only like it on my girl danielle!
.work on my portfolio so i can get a nice job and possibly go to grad school. check out cranbrook, mcad and find a few other options for schools.
.hang out with my parents, whom i love a whole bunch, more ... and my professors, that i hate, less.
.never ever drink gin again.
.or tequila
.read more
.roll my eyes less
.cook more
.eat out less
.buy an el camino because i always wanted one, ever since i saw my doctor driving when one when i was a kid ...or at least something classic detroit, to remind me of home wherever i may go
.talk less do more
.start tallying on the back of my hand how many drinks i've had so i don't almost get alcohol poisoning every time i drink fancy vodka
.worry less
.remember everything that i learnt from him. fresh, like it was yesterday
.procrastinate less, create more
.let my brain go where it wants rather than where the syllabus says it should go
.let everyone know how important they are to me more often
.ok i made stupid resolutions but i am so done with this list. and i was starting to feel really sappy, which in turn makes me cringe.
who's your mama?
i keep dreaming about her. make it stop. it's still the same. doing everyday things and really happy, and then just before i wake up i realize she's not alive anymore.
now i feel bad, don't make it stop. i don't want her to think i want her to go away. it's all i have left. that's probably why they don't stop. is that a manifestation of guilt?
i am starting to get a little belly, and i never had one. i am rather excited with this development, so i decided i should name it. jnthn named it for me.
it's named CLIFF HUXTABLE.
this year i resolve to
.swim a lot more
.find my old life in which i did what i wanted when i wanted instead of working and studying all the damn time
.call my friends more
.not look so mean. or start punching people in their fucking jaw when they say 'don't look so mean!'
.not feel obliged to get married and/or have kids when i turn 27
.move far far away. but within driving distance to my family. or get rich so i can just fly to see them a lot.
.save money and stop getting calls from the bill collectors
.start doing kung fu or judo
.get some tattoos finished
.continue to stop with the no smoking thing
.graduate and get a job
.find a new fucking haircut
.fight the urge to get my monroe pierced. i only like it on my girl danielle!
.work on my portfolio so i can get a nice job and possibly go to grad school. check out cranbrook, mcad and find a few other options for schools.
.hang out with my parents, whom i love a whole bunch, more ... and my professors, that i hate, less.
.never ever drink gin again.
.or tequila
.read more
.roll my eyes less
.cook more
.eat out less
.buy an el camino because i always wanted one, ever since i saw my doctor driving when one when i was a kid ...or at least something classic detroit, to remind me of home wherever i may go
.talk less do more
.start tallying on the back of my hand how many drinks i've had so i don't almost get alcohol poisoning every time i drink fancy vodka
.worry less
.remember everything that i learnt from him. fresh, like it was yesterday
.procrastinate less, create more
.let my brain go where it wants rather than where the syllabus says it should go
.let everyone know how important they are to me more often
.ok i made stupid resolutions but i am so done with this list. and i was starting to feel really sappy, which in turn makes me cringe.
who's your mama?
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
come to nj.... i know its stinky with all the pollution, but you will get use to it. i did. we'll have fun, i swear.