Temptation.........
There is an abundance of thoughts racing through my brain, which I cannot be rid of no matter how I try. I could compare them to an infection, spreading through my psyche with rapid onset of symptoms, yet that would not be the best description, because an infection may be treated, and heals over time, or causes the sweet relief of death. These thoughts are infectious but there is no treatment, no medication, no cure. There is only a swift onslaught of questions, speculation, and doubt. This, coupled with a neurotic and almost obsessive dissection of memory proves only to push me further towards inevitable folly.
Among these treacherous thoughts are a barrage of self doubting questions, with one ringing out above the rest: How did I get myself into this situation? There is no one to blame but myself for my misery, as I am in a hell of my own making. I have considered myself a rational and intelligent person, yet here I fall, helter-skelter towards my self-created doom. As gravity pulls toward the Earth, I am similarly pulled toward the object of my desire, which holds nothing for me but certain ruin. A child is warned that a stove may be hot, and the choice is made resulting in a painful lesson that need only be learned once. I, however, must touch to know how hot, and after being burned must test the heat over and over again.
What cruel design compels me to be faced with irresistible temptation for which I have absolutely no defense? Why create in me such strong desire that must not be indulged? It is as though I am the victim of a karmic experiment, or the object of a cosmic joke. Certainly this must not be a meaningful and fated series of events, since there can be no positive outcome. These thoughts rob me of all rationality, and create in me a fatigue that is felt down to my very soul. One person should not have to endure such hated temptation, as there is no one who possesses the will to resist.
And so I give in.
There is an abundance of thoughts racing through my brain, which I cannot be rid of no matter how I try. I could compare them to an infection, spreading through my psyche with rapid onset of symptoms, yet that would not be the best description, because an infection may be treated, and heals over time, or causes the sweet relief of death. These thoughts are infectious but there is no treatment, no medication, no cure. There is only a swift onslaught of questions, speculation, and doubt. This, coupled with a neurotic and almost obsessive dissection of memory proves only to push me further towards inevitable folly.
Among these treacherous thoughts are a barrage of self doubting questions, with one ringing out above the rest: How did I get myself into this situation? There is no one to blame but myself for my misery, as I am in a hell of my own making. I have considered myself a rational and intelligent person, yet here I fall, helter-skelter towards my self-created doom. As gravity pulls toward the Earth, I am similarly pulled toward the object of my desire, which holds nothing for me but certain ruin. A child is warned that a stove may be hot, and the choice is made resulting in a painful lesson that need only be learned once. I, however, must touch to know how hot, and after being burned must test the heat over and over again.
What cruel design compels me to be faced with irresistible temptation for which I have absolutely no defense? Why create in me such strong desire that must not be indulged? It is as though I am the victim of a karmic experiment, or the object of a cosmic joke. Certainly this must not be a meaningful and fated series of events, since there can be no positive outcome. These thoughts rob me of all rationality, and create in me a fatigue that is felt down to my very soul. One person should not have to endure such hated temptation, as there is no one who possesses the will to resist.
And so I give in.
_void_:
Well written. Dare I ask what it is that tempts you?