satansangel

I haven't talked to him in over three days.... I guess this break is for real. Damn her for being selfish. I hate that neither of us have control over this situation, because if we did we would be together. I can't explain how much I miss him...

stayed numb all day, went to the bar where I laughed, but it was a hollow laugh, one that has no real happiness behind it. I will wake up in the morning and put on that face the one that says I'm okay, when really I'm not sure how I am. I know that it will be okay, I know that it's for the best,...
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here come the tears....

I just want him to know that I miss him. but I need to make this a clean break.

I thought I could do without sugar love but this chocolate has turned into
sweet bubble gum
Candy is sweet but honey is sweeter
It tastes like the real thing but candy is much much cheaper

just waiting for things to become simple again....

good grief so much has happened. So he told the ex-wife, and she lost her mind over it. she claims that I had been acting weird around her and she claims that I had been telling everyone at work. Now understand I work at a large company, and our center has close to 1000 employees. I also haven't told anyone except for my best friend...
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decisions decisions.....

So I've known this man for 5 years. 4 1/2 years ago we had one night together, since then we have become close friends, with that same tension there. There has always been talk of what we could do, but never acted on it, as I was in a serious relationship, and he was married. I split from my half at the end...
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best 420 ever!! Met up with a friend, bought a love seat, ate Mexican food, planted flowers, rearranged the living room, smoked tons of weed with a friend. then went to the grocery store, cooked dinner for some other friends, then smoked tons more weed, made a gravity bong, and had an awesome night! I don't think anyone could ask for more.

tomorrow is one of my favorite days of the year. And I have the day off! I plan on smoking all day and enjoying the outdoors, maybe take the dog for a hike or something. Tomorrow is going to be a good day!

on a complete and separate side note: fuck you pay pal....locking my account for possible "fraudulent" activity and then not allowing me...
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ever been so horny that you make that bad decision? had a guy back to my place today thought it was going to be good. got the complete opposite, horrible at kissing, kept doing this thing where his tongue was out of his mouth, then got naked, and was thinking okay I can handle a bad kisser cause he seems to be well endowed.....he just...
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where did my self confidence go? I used to feel attractive when I looked in the mirror, anymore I just see a body that's been through hell, and is about as good as it's going to be. fuck what is wrong with me??