satansangel

wednesday night i thought about suicide, thursday morning i wrote robyn an email, basically saying goodbye etc. thursday afternoon i called my mom i was a complete wreck. thursday i went to class, then to work, feeling a little better, then i went to the bar. at the bar i got drunk which is a little odd for me i usually dont drink enough to...
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im doing okay now......i should be good for a while no worries here, just tons of homework

i think im going for a world record of mental breakdowns, i thought today would be better but its really not, i've cried myself to the point of being sick, and im just tired. no amount of help can fix this right now. im on the edge of comitting myself, but even then i dont think things would be okay. i just cant take it...
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im not even sure what happens when i get the way i was last night, i wake up today and feel like a completely different person. thanks to everyone for the encouraging words, but today seems like its going to be okay.

i'm worthless, it's pretty obvious, i'm never going to amount to anything, all i do is take up space, and spend my days stressed and worried trying and hoping to become something that i will never be. i'm not sure why i fight it, why i try. i really just want to die. honestly i just want to give it all up, and just sleep...
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so my lil sis and i dont get along, i think she's a stuck up brat who has always gotten everything she ever wanted. which is the case, my parents even admit it. but she's talking about going into the air force and the older sis. protective mode is kicking in. i really dont want her to go, just because you never know what could...
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me being a girl who grew up obsessed with the world of geisha, am suprised by the fact that i had not watched memoirs of a geisha before tonight. it was the most beautiful movie that i have seen. It made me remember how angry i used to be at how the war and difficult times turned the name of a geisha into a prostitute...
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its wednesday......yup, totally wednesday. not much to say......there isnt much going on, so there isnt much to say.

hey kids, sorry to sound down, but im losing it and fast. im just not dealing at all, i havent told anyone on here yet, but my aunt died not this past friday but the friday before. i'm to the point of being numb, and am seeking serious professional help. I'm going to go talk to the dean tomorrow about school stuff because i really...
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back to school....back to life...i think i just may make it through guys.....

so my grandfather passed away not this past thursday but the thursday before, and today my grandma passes away, not his wife but my grandma on the other side of the family. I dont really think I can deal with it all. I just want to cry a lot. but I'm not sure if that would even help anything. I just dont know what to...
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