Drank last night. probably drank a bit too much. think I scared off a friend. sorry to you darling if that's the case. if not, then you're a butthead for leaving me there.

ramen noodles are amazing when drunk. so are friends. both do a good job of making you feel better when drunk and being a girl...perhaps a bit of thee pms too, who knows. I can't control how this damn thing works...

I'm going home today...freshly wrapped gifts, super cute painted snowman pictures....mom called to asked what I wanted for dinner. I love her. She already knew the answer, but asked anyways. meatloaf. I love it.

I'm going to paint more. I forgot how much I enjoyed it. I'm glad all it took was some silly snowmans...

I hope going home makes me feel better. It's been a bit of a lonely/depressing/confusing/adjective time this past week or so. Probably one of thee hardest. Holidays make you think about the people in your life, appreciation, love, blah, blah, blah... I just end up feeling like shite. I think I just need a break from it to get sane in thee brain again...somehow bad satellite tv, vast cornfields,60 degree house (dad is a heat jew), mom and meatloaf will make it all better. I trust that. maybe a haircut too.

Thee lil bro will not be home. That makes me sad. He's bustin his ass big time from what I hear out in Vegas-land. 4 or so shows a day...even on xmas. I'm sending him a present, but he has to pay to get his mail. What the shit is that. Not only do you not get to see thee fam on xmas but we're gonna make you pay to get your presents. shite. good thing he's living like a king out there, or I'd be waaaay more upset.

It led me to thinking about next fall when both thee bro n sis will be gone. Bro in Vegas-land and sis in W. Virgin-land. I'm super happy she's finally going to school and doing something she wants to...she could use a bit more happiness in her life. She deserves it. It feels good to know that finally everyone is getting what they want and doing well...no more stuck in limbo. It's a bittersweet feeling...but I know it's all for thee best. I can't hog them all to myself forever. such a mom....ugh.

I think that's it. I'm in a lovey mood now...I like it. minus the headache. damn handgovers.

meatloaf.