sassitude

*sigh*. Someone, please tell me, why does life have to be so complicated? I know, I know, there's no good answer for that. I just can't EVER seem to figure shit out, and sometimes it really gets to me.

I had mentioned previously that I was going to write an apology email to my old best friend, Natalie. Well I did, and it worked. She emailed me back, then called me the other day. We hung out, and it was nice. We didn't go into too many details about our fight, because it has happened before and we both know we were wrong. She apologized for being a bitch, and I apologized for being a neglectful friend.

The rest of my friends are under the impression that I should not become friends with her again. They all think that she treats me badly, and is too emotionally dependant and unstable. I agree to a certain extent, she has always been a little emotionally unstable, and she definitely has pissed me off before. But I love her. She has been my friend since elementary school, and I have never found anyone else that I can connect with more than her. Nobody else seems to understand this, which leads me to wonder, am I handling this wrong? Is she "walking all over me", so to speak? I don't think so, but I really don't know anymore. The girl that I am moving in with used to be good friends with Natalie, but they ended things sort of badly. Both of them are ok with seeing each other once I move in, but I don't want to have to be the mediator between the two of them. I am really sick of feeling split between friends.

I really, really need something out of life right now, but I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's in the form of a big change, or a person, or a new job...but I hope I figure it out soon.