sassitude

I think each time people disappoint you or let you down throughout life, you lose a little bit of hope and faith in the goodness of humans in general. After this happens repeatedly, I think you reach a general state of unhappiness where you have a hard time believing that anyone is truly looking out for you, or means well. I feel like I'm pretty close to reaching this point, and I can't help but wonder: am I just overwhelmed at the moment, and therefore making hasty assumptions and being overly cynical? Or was I naive to think before that deep down, the world was a truly good place? Maybe I have just recently learned a life lesson that older, wiser people have known for awhile. Part of me hopes this isn't the case, although lately, life has not ceased to disappoint me or hurt me quite often.

At this given time, I feel stuck in between being a teenager and turning into a young adult. I feel like maybe I'm worrying about things I shouldn't be worrying about at this age, but at the same time, I welcome these realizations about life. It's kind of exciting to ponder and contemplate issues and thoughts you never have before. I wonder if this is just a phase I'm going through, or if life is simply a continuous series of questions about what "life" really is.

I've been feeling lonely lately, like I don't really fit in anywhere. I've had the same group of friends for the longest time, but at this point in life, people are bound to go their seperate ways. Some have gone off to college or moved, and then there are others that I no longer feel close to emotionally. I really feel like I'm going through a transitional phase in my life, and I think an inevitable part of that will be drifting apart from a few of my friends. I just feel unable to relate to them anymore, and we're at such different points in our lives, that spending time with them has become frustrating. Yup, times are a changin'....

I need human contact. Very badly. I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do.