I am so overwhelmed with trying to balance the positives and negetives, that I am letting all the small shit get to me which I have always just ignored. I feel like I can reach out and touch everything that could make me happy, but there is this huge wall that randomly pops up stops me from doing so. I start to become the things I have always dispised.. Everyone seems to be worried about the new shoes, new clothes, new cars, new music etc. and when its all said and done, none of that matters, and these "things" are the least of my worries. I would be content with waking up gazing at the clouds, and feeling the breeze in my hair, and falling asleep gazing at the stars, not to point constellations, but just looking and thinking. The act of assimilation seems to be biggest challange I suppose, but its bound to happen one day. I just want to be my free happy self that makes sense..right now nothing is making much sense. 
You must be the change you want to see
lostlucy:
Be content with the fact that we are always seeking happiness and have to find specs of it along the pursuit. ALso, be happy you have such a lovely behind! 
