saria

Well, my boyfriend wanted me to stop being a Suicide Girl because it hurts him to know that other people saw me naked in photos. After many disputes and my attempts to convince him that you can have a partner and be a Suicide Girl at the same time I had to leave if I wanted to continue with him because nothing of what I said worked. So, I told him I'll quit because the thought of being without him killed me inside.

It worked for a few weeks, when I was with him I forgot Suicide Girls and I felt like I could live without it... but every time I was alone and entered to the site and saw all that I had achieved, people I had known, the sets that I have left to send and those who I'll want to shoot... this also killed me inside. I started to feel a terrible grudge against him because every time I looked at it I thought it was his fault I could no longer enjoy all that entails being a Suicide Girl. I felt resentment and anger and could not be nice to him as I was before.

I had a crossroads of feelings and I wasn't happy, at least not at 100 percent. Finally, one day I saw Rambo sent me an email telling me that Suicide Girls wanted to invite me to Portugal Shootfest and I thought about the great opportunity that they were giving me and I could not pass up.

So I told him I wanted to go to Portugal and that I wanted to remain in Suicide Girl although it causes bad consequences in our relationship. He told me that I knew he couldn't be with me as part of the site. And that's how yesterday ended my relationship with him and that's why I'm back here. It was sad because we didn't argue (we had already discussed enough) but it all ended in tears and with a "I love you" goodbye knowing that although we love each other we couldn't be together.

Now I feel full of shit and in a bitter sadness but I hope to catch up on Suicide Girls and focus on other things that make me forget as soon as possible.

By the way, I noticed the queue have changed so my set shot by @lavezzaro will be in MR the 1st of April. Can't wait! :)