sarabellum

I'm done trying (but i know i won't really give up on him. I've given too much)

I've tried everything to make myself feel better about losing him. Going out with my friends, thinking that maybe if I had been better I'd still have his love, cutting, screaming, crying, laying in the bathtub for hours with a bottle of vodka, telling him how i felt, pouring my heart and soul out to him, going to therapy, but none of it has worked. I'm a zombie now. She put me on antidepressants today and this really is my last hope. If the drugs don't work it really is over. The knowledge that he really isn't coming back has sunk in and now I have nothing. I will be gone.