saphyrachaos

Hey Guys

So things have been fucking crazy lately. Me and the bf have been arguing so much about all sorts of things. He's also freaking out since I introduced him to my fetlife thing, and he's now convinced himself I'm going to leave him for somebody else. Which is ridiculous, but his paranoia is driving me a bit insane. Also, I've rediscovered that the person from last summer (some of you may remember him from my blogs) is still very much part of my life. We're still really good friends, and we both have "other halfs", but one of my friends jokingly said I should go out with this guy the other day, and it's got my loins all fired up again. Even though I know it never would happen you know? But there's part of me that wants something to happen. Last summer was so awesome, and I have missed it. Nobody's ever been quite like him.

I've been given the go-ahead to try my ritalin so should be meeting with the psychiatrist to get the initial prescription soon. Very worried that it increase my moodswings, or anxiety and depression and everything else. But we'll see. Give it a go at least.

Worried about money, As usual. Job hunting is impossible. Everywhere I apply seems to come crashing down for stupid reasons. My weight has been pissing me off. I know I shouldn't feel fat, but that stupid part of my brain is taking over again. I've been eating less for sure, and have lost some weight which cheers me up, but the bulimia's coming back also, and food hasn't exactly been staying down. Sigh. It's a cycle though, and all cycles go full circle, so it'll stop again soon I'm sure.


ALSO on much HAPPIER news

loops_of_fury you are so amazingly awesome for reactivating me. I have been having such a difficult time recently, and you have cheered me up such a ridiculous amount. Thank you so so so much x x x

So I've been trying to upload a set since May, and am gonna keep trying. It was kind of national-day related so it'll seem out of time if it uploads, but oh well!!