I work in a pretty shady part of town, and a lot of the guys from my work grew up there. They're always telling me stories about people and crazy shit that has happened there. Murders, shooting, all the gangs. (I'm not comparing this town to L.A or anything) It's just crazy, last year three bodies were found at a park about a quarter mile from my work. One of which made the national news. This poor girl was missing and they eventually found her in pieces in a black garbage bag. Come to find out it was her boyfriend or something. What is this world coming to? You can only trust a few people in your life. (Me being one of them, I'm as clean as a preachers sheets baby.) I mean, I just read an article about some dude that ate his friends. What the FUCK! How do you just wake up one day and say to yourself, "MMmmm, Quiznos just aint doin' it for me anymore, I'm gunna eat Jimmy" I just dont know. 
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Sure, I'll be your friend. Why not?
As for the college ass...I had only ever been with my wife up until a couple of months ago, part of the reason we're splitting up. So, needless to say, I ain't the regular chick magnet. I never have been able to pick up on it when girls like/flirt with me and I never hit on girls myself, or if I did they were never interested. Don't think I'll get much from anyone except my current girlfriend that I met at work. I see being a single old broke loser fuck with a heart condition from here on out.