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santianna

Singapore

SG Since 2004

Followers 1629 Following 669

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Thursday Apr 14, 2005

Apr 14, 2005
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Cheerios

I really hate it when I send and email pouring out all my feelings and dont get a reply for the whole entire day. Im sure all of you are getting shit tired of me being all sappy, but what can I do? I wish Id more sense. But I really think hes so perfect for me. You can be subjective about how you feel, but not about things like, damn I really like sleeping with him, I really like cuddling him; I mean, how you feel physically is undeniable. And I like many people, and theyre all very fond of me, but there just isnt that sort of physical chemistry. Id better make a note of it and ask him if he feels the same way.

But regardless of being rained-checked on, I still had a fabulous time last night. And I experienced one of the most amazing things thats come my way, and itll be something Ill remember for a long time.

Three of us were at his place. (Lets called the guy Greg, and the girl Shell, theyre not too shabby for names) and Id popped in a new Jazz CD and the song Crazy Little Thing Called Love came on. Shell got up and started dancing (she moves to bring the house down and all the dicks up) and Greg picked her by her waist. I was on the couch watching them, and I though, isnt that amazing. Like how two people who really arent particularly involved in each other lives can, just for that moment, feel so damn good being together.

Its as if at that moment, nothing else mattered. They were together, and they were having fun. And that moment expressed what I felt more then anything else Id ever experienced. Exactly. It is different when youre the one going through the bliss, and when youre watching on. Its like having someone write down how you feel, and you reading it and going, that really hits the nail!. Only this was better. I saw it all, and it was well, Ill not forget it.



If everything is transient, and your whole life is nothing but an ephemeral jolt in the existence of the Bigger Scheme of Things (whatever it is, because you can hardly claim to say youre damn sure your existence was all that the universe was waiting on; so there must be a bigger scheme of things), then what does it matter? Every serendipitous escapade is sent my way for a reason, and itll be a terrible waste for me to deny myself any of it.

I wrote the funniest, most raw email to Martine yesterday, and just re-read it. I thought it was quite good, although he said I rambled at points. Of course I cant think coherently when Im thinking about him, what did he expect? I just wish Liz would Go Away.

Oh, and by the way, Ethan didnt say anything negative on purpose. It was a language problem. Im really not physically attracted to him in any way, but hey what the hell, if hes free in the summer, Florence will be on the list for a fortnight run away from reality.

I told you. Jesus. There is no such thing as people going away for good.

*laughs*

I am happy.

xoxox
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
deziree:
I think that you express your self very well. I'm sorry that when I responded to your journal yesterday it was just a hi and bye kind of thing and I thought that you are smokin hot. I really didn't know much about what was goin on with you and your life. All I know is that you need someone that is going to give you just as much love back that you give them. Someone to hold you and take care of you because I would, belive me I would kiss
Apr 14, 2005
loganmaclaren1:
Hello, girl!

Well, I'm not going to do a really nice comment, because I'm late. I just don't wanna leave you thinking that what you say doen't matter for other people.

Anyway, you're not the only one that feel bad when nobody write you a comment... wink

XOXO,

LA
Apr 15, 2005

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