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santianna

Singapore

SG Since 2004

Followers 1625 Following 669

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Tuesday Apr 12, 2005

Apr 11, 2005
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Not Fair

Im supposed to be IT. I dont want people, they want me. Ive no need for them, no one should be making my heart race, no one should be able to give me that popcorn roasting in my tummy sort of feeling, no one (god-fucking forbid!) should be able to make me feel *gasp* desperate.

But he Does. I dont know why or how, but he just does. The weird things that Im able to tell him that, and it doesnt change anything. I dont suppose he likes me any less knowing that Im just dying to know he wants me. I told him I was desperate; thats the way I feel, and I dont see why anyone should dare make fun of it. And Im glad he doesnt.

Im glad I have him. I dont think most other men could make sense of it. I know most of all the other ex-booties go, desperate with nasty sarcasm when a girl wants them too badly. If Martine were like that, I dont think Id even want to give a dime about him.

Im glad he isnt, and Im glad theres someone who makes me feel like Im 14, because thats how everyone should feel when theyre in love. And isnt that just the most amazing, psychedelic feeling in the whole wide world. All other men can make me feel anything from hey-dude-lets-grab-a-few-beers-how-are-the-latest-conquests to euphoric blissfulness (I-cannot-believe-Im making-love-to-you-again).

Martines something else. Being with him alone, naked, lying on top of him feels like this should be it. This is all there is to everything. Something completely out of reality, like nothing else could possibly matter. And if hed just want to take everything of me - which Im more then willing to give; which also means hed be completely responsible, and thats sadly the reality of things, because its something he cannot imagine doing to a girl my age. If that, then thatll be all the reality I need.

Its really quite a bit of nonsense, I know. Weve completely agreeable personalities in bed and in the quiet moments outside the necessity of reality. But I have no damn idea how he is around people, because in the half a year Ive just about known him, weve only made it outside the bedroom about half a dozen times. And all on exclusive dates.

No matter. I'm thinking of begging him to take a fortnight off in June to go to Europe. Suicidegirls's scheduled something in a lovely piece of countryside and I'd really like to go. If not, then I'd just resort to Chris. If still not, I'll just use my own money (if I have enough) and see if I can persuade the G-Spot to go. I miss the bloke.

Ah well. Im just glad he desires me. I asked him to tell me so and he did. Now I can work in peace.

xoxox

And the third page for Event Odyssey coporate info.
They needed it to be only 2 colours, pink and black, so I stripped the other art of the colours (SOB!) and shaded it with a little pink. Just like this one. Yeah/

full piece, uncut by the website's coding frown
deziree:
Hey SANTIANNA,

I was just browzing and saw you. How could I missed you?? Well, I just want to say your fucking hot and I love you pictures. kiss
Apr 13, 2005

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