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santianna

Singapore

SG Since 2004

Followers 1630 Following 669

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Thursday Oct 21, 2004

Oct 21, 2004
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My computer is moving like a rusty piece of scrap metal, but no matter. Our local paper has a pointless new addition to it called URBAN. Its really just another frivolous addition to the countrys already extensive range of badly designed, shoddily planned magazines. Content wise, it tells you stupid things like How to Marry Millionaire, and actually gives you an A-List of rich Singaporean twenty-somethings. I think its tragically sexist and the author probably pulled it out of her spangly thronged ass.

When I read it this morning, I went, ah hah! All women want money, and they want it with doing the least possible work as is feasible. Some guy I used to date (smart, very enterprising local fellow who decided we were together because we had had sex after a bout of too much alcohol) told me he always starts to feel a little disenchanted with the female race every time he reads whatever I have to say. In particular my recent post on the Yank wanting to pay for a holiday and on-top-of-that to have company for a weekend.

With respect to that, and very much to my surprise, Yank is very keen on it and has been emailing me constantly and called me up once to apologize for being unable to arrange a date in till end November. Its just something I want to do, and will. My taste of being the Postmodern Courtesan, at least just this once. Its not something I plan to do very much of (if ever again), after this one.

I thought about it, and realized that it didnt matter if you were male or female, but sometimes, you have sex, and end up feeling shortchanged. A total of two men have told me so in the past week; given the scenario where they were to have sex with women old enough to be their mothers, theyd do it, because sex is just generally good for you, but nonetheless, still come out feeling somewhat cheated. I have definitely slept with guys just because I like them and they rocked my ass in bed; for certain, I have wondered, occasionally if they were just using me. But I often tell myself if that were the case, then I was guilty of it too, although the truth is I still cared for them in my own way. And as such can be sure that they saw me beyond booty, because I did likewise for guys I didnt really care for deeply, but liked, nonetheless.

You cant put a finger to where exactly or in what case a person would feel shortchanged. If it happens, then it just does, and the person that feels that way can only blame herself. The thing is, if I had to sleep with someone, and pretend that I found him sexually attractive, I would require a great deal of incentive before I could possibly bring myself to do it. Its not about the going rate for certain; I am more concerned for my sanity, and if Im going to get paid, then I must do a good job. Higher wages prevent people from skimping, we all know that. Although I am still wondering if its really possible to find someone sexually unattractive when youre having sex with them. As long as they dont look like Doctor Von Doom. And besides, I used to have weird sexual fantasies where I got to fuck Boris Vallejos incubuses that came in from my bedroom window as a child.

But the article in the paper just made me cringe. I am all for marrying a millionaire (even thought the truth is, I dont really care for it. I have no love for branded clothes or expensive cars nor for Sunday brunches in Ipanema. I am content with supporting local designers and bakeries, as long as they continue making me pretty dresses and good bread). It is nice if a millionaire comes your way, but a measure of affluence is sufficient, honestly. I am completely sure there are many other women who feel likewise, and must be incensed at the paper portraying us as retail whores.

There is something inherently wrong with Singaporean culture, and I think its how so many of us look at purchasing things, spending money often and as much as we possibly can (discounts regardless, we just end up buying more of something thats not needed) as a sort of enthusiastic, escapist fantasy. It is the experience of purchasing, or buying that we enjoy, and possibly enjoy more then the product we do eventually pay for. (Food and sex can be exceptions because they confer an immediate, un-dissipated, biological pleasure. They cannot go out of fashion.) Cupido likens the problem to Singaporean women not getting fucked enough, and from the emails I receive from some of them, it will most certainly seem this way.

You are stupid. Dont you see, if men annoy you, dont listen to your every whim, dont buy you nice things, no sex! Why must you fuck them just because you like them and be the low-maintenance whore you are?

Holy Cow.
I dont need to explain that sort of logic to you. Is that a good exemplum for the problem Im trying to point out?

There is really no need to encourage this sort of stupidity in the local paper. So a many housewives now know who owns 67.7 Million dollars worth of ornamental fish (Apparently the Luo Han is truly a harbinger of good fortune. Am sure they brought Kenny Yap his fortune.) Um, allright. Does anyone even know who is to be awarded this years Nobel Peace Prize? Not that knowing that perfectly pointless piece of information will change anything, but if you want to have a good conversation with youre soon to be millionaire husband, I think you had better start learning from Becky Sharp.

How bright can you be if you need The Straits Times to teach you how to snag a man?

xoxox
freshprncebelair:
Thank you Santianna.

I have been wrestling with this since coming to college. I broke up with my girlfriend in February of this year, and was getting NO action. That is, until Octiber started. I have made out with four girls in three weeks, and gotten in two girls pants in the past week. I feel like a slut for doing so, and am wrestling with the spectre of having used them for my own ends or being used as a teddy bear for them, something to hold and to have and satisfy them. I am just trying to avoid being a huge slut. I kind of feel that I am over-compensating for the dry spell of six months, but I also feel that I shouldn't be doing so.
Oct 21, 2004
nightmares:
You bring a world of perspective onto every topic. You really make me think about things, which in this day and age is hard for people to get me to do. Plus, all of your words flow together seamlessly...stunningly beautiful and deep. That is your writing and that is you.
Oct 22, 2004

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