santababy

this weekend was really good. friday i caved into weakness. my vagina made the decision to call josh. which after 7 hours of waiting finally got me to what i wanted. we had sex. it wasnt bad, but there definately was something not right about the whole situation. we talked for a good while after. i have only told sheree and april. i probably shouldnt have told sheree but who cares now. he hasnt called me, which i knew would be the case. its not like i want to be with him. i have too much other shit going on right now to be worried about him and all this shit. i just want someone to have sex with and possibly hang out with. is that so damn hard to understand??
i dont know. i feel kind of dirty as far as the whole sex thing goes. i have know clue if he is fucking anyone else, not that he would tell me if he did. i am by all means trusting him, which could prove to be a big mistake later on. i just hope he would have enough respect for me not to be fucking someone else and then having sex with me too. who knows.
i am glad i am going back to work tomorrow. this whole day off shit screws up my week.
sunday had a bbq at sheree's. got really drunk and smoked the most weed i have smoked in awhile. needless to say the day consisted of food, alcohol, weed, and more food. repeat cycle 5 times. i feel sooo ugggggggggugughghhgh/
neways, spent today just relaxing and laying out. it was beautiful outside.
ok well i think im done for now. peace