sanguine

so i saw one of the specialists.... i am now scheduled for surgery or what have you in a few weeks... to check for tumors in my bladder and a few other things that he says he most likely will find...

i kinda feel numb to this shit anymore... when they tell me something new thats wrong with me i just kinda go ..oh ok.. and thats it.... no other expressions... i think the day that one of them tells me they found nothing wrong with me is the day i will finally shed tears....

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although.... since superbowl is over... and monday was the last hard as fuck day to deal with at work... my first day off... i slept for 13 hours... unfuckingbelievable .... last night.. i slept for 11 hours... i really needed that..
now i am ready to start claiming back my so called life

later kids
xoxo