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sandwillow

In search of a new one.

Member Since 2004

Followers 3 Following 3

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Thursday Jul 22, 2004

Jul 22, 2004
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Alright, I have a dilemma.

My best friend is a girl that lives ~4 hours away from me. Once school starts, it will be more.

At any other stage in my life, I would be trying my damnest to start something romantic with her. And I've told her as much.

The reason I don't is because I value her friendship so much, I don't want to risk it.

But I really would like to date her.

Suggestions?

[In addition] It would seem that they've crucified MisterJesus. Does that mean we're all saved now, or what?
fenris_ulf:
Well, there are many schools of thought on the whole 'friends into lovers' dynamic. I've done it a few times before, some with startling success, some where I have lost the person for good.

What are you prepared to risk for something truly great?

At 21, you should be a bit of a relationship risk-taker, but also be carefull about building someone up in your mind to the point that you don't see her faults. Everyone has them, love is not blind, love sees all... and accepts.

It's all in how you 'frame' it. You need to frame it in the context of it as the next natural expression of your friendship. I have had friends I've hooked up with and gone back to friendship, it is possible.

"Have you ever hung out with someone for a long time and for whatever mysterious reason you started to think about them in a different way?"

Probing, vague questions like that allow you to calibrate her response and receptiveness without having to take a major risk yet.

Don't tip your cards until you have to, the ambiguity is what generates attraction...

My $0.02

His name was mister jesus...
Jul 22, 2004

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