sand

I should be on the departure for Amsterdam. But there was a tragedy in Paris yesterday. Some people I know were part of the hostages at the Bataclan. For all I know, they're okay ... but I learned a few minutes ago that a friend of the daughter of a friend of mine died. I want to cry, ever since all this started yesterday. This morning, I had a train to Paris. My boyfriend wanted me to cancel, but I don't want be intimidated. I don't want that kind of act guide my life. And ... I missed my train. This is ridiculous, I live next to the train station and my train is gone before me. So I do something even more ridiculous to me, I take it as a sign. It is also a way of saying that I also want to reassure my friends, although I will be stayed only a few hours to Paris.

I'm sad.
I'm sad about what is happening and I'm terrified.

I spent the night to send messages to my friends to find out if they were okay.
I woke up wanting to tell my boyfriend how much I care about him because I told myself that we could have been there.

I'm sorry if my English is not good, I don't have the heart to correct.