samuraipupy

Well, here is a bit of an update to my last post. So I hear Dot outside meowing loudly, nothing new I thought. I ignored it & started to clean my room like planned to see if that would work. While taking out some trash I found her, dead. She was really fresh still, hadn't gone into rigamortis. I've thrown her out before & she has ran off before so it's not like being outside for 24 hours killed her, neither did I. Though, the guilt is there but probably for no good reason I know. She was dry, so she found somewhere to huddle down last night. I guess it just makes me guilty that I ignored her death cries. I found a little private spot & buried her underneath a ton of leaves since I don't own a shovel. I do feel a bit better knowing that I was trying to make her feel better with the new cat litter, water thing, better food, cleaner room but still, guilt. I also know I couldn't have taken her to the vet even if I wanted to, I don't have that kind of extra cash. Sigh, guilt, I was pretty angry with her when I threw her out, smacked her on the head & yelled at her. I guess it's just always bad to have things end on a bad note, no matter what you were trying to do. Blah, this sucks.