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sammich

Long Beach CA!

Member Since 2005

Followers 21 Following 62

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Thursday Aug 23, 2007

Aug 23, 2007
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Holy crap! June was my last post? I'm slackin'!

Dilemma:

So, my ten year reunion is on Saturday and I have yet to decide whether to show. Mainly because I feel younger now than I did then (read that as "feel more immature"). Have I done enough in the ten years since graduating from the 4 year popularity contest? Are most of my classmates leaving me in the dust, carreer wise? Or, am I going to have an interesting story to account for my time. Many have gotten degrees, travelled to distant shores, done fantastic deeds, or started families and have little mini-thems that continually fill their days with wonder. I haven't been farther outside our country than one time each to two bordertowns in Mexico (and one of those was when I was four), and I sure as hell haven't had any kids ( I can barely take care of myself).

Maybe I'll see that I'm lagging behind. But then again, maybe I'll see that a lot have married too soon, or had kids too soon, or are stuck in a dead end job that they hate. Maybe I'll be the inspiration for them that gets them on the right track. Who knows. I mean, I'm finally back in school to persue my degree in Mechanical Engineering, I work in a fantastic location with great people doing what I'm good at, and am in an awesome Reserve unit that I have a blast with. Sure, I've moved back home and am broke as a joke, but it could be worse. Right? Who knows, maybe the hottest girl in school is single and decides that I've turned into a catch. I know it's farfetched, but so was the idea of the top golfer being black and the top rapper being white a while back.

This whole thing has me looking back and thinking what would I have done different. Not much. I would have been far wiser financially. I'm no wiz as it is, but maybe I could have changed my compulsive behavior and invested. I would have asked those ladies out (the ones that I thought weren't interested but my friends said I should have talked to a bit more). I would have stayed in better shape, read more, stayed in school, not gotten so wasted that one night.... or that other night, or let stuff pass me by. But then that's thinking with the knowledge I have because I made those decisions. People say "If I only knew then what I know now" , but the paradox of that is you wouldn't know that now if it weren't for what happend then.

Should I go? Are these insecurities just that? Maybe I'm not due to have that amazing story 'til the twenty-year reunion and should just go to hear the stories of others and be happy for them. Who knows, maybe some of my old classmates and I will network and through that, change the world for the better. Crazy shit happens.

Your thoughts. confused

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