I don't want to write down what I did today. That is boring and nothing I would want to read myself. What I want to write, and will try to write, from now on, is what I thought today. I have a pretty f'ed up mind. And even though you all might not want to hear about what goes on in it, I want to never forget what I thought everyday.
This is the hard part. I don't write like I read. I don't write like I speak. And I don't type like I write. That is the key. I don't TYPE like I WRITE. Yes, there is a difference. I could use this to my advantage, or I could bitch and cry about like I did earlier this afternoon. I consider myself to be the proactive type. If I don't like something, I change it or fix it. And yes, I beleive in fixing that which is not necessarily broken. Gotta problem with that? Take it up with me.
I am cranky today. I am also productive today. And when I woke up, I was hungover today. I don't know what happened. I guess I got up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe a whole Jim's SteakOut Steak Hoagy Sub wasn't a good idea before bed. Ha, with the amount of food I eat, it's a wonder I don't weigh 300lbs. Productive. This makes me feel good. Good is, well, good. Ok... redundancy at its finest right there. Anyway, I repaired my car. I cleaned my car. I was thinking the whole time. I'm afraid though, that what I thought was boring to you. I don't care. I had thoughts. A good friend of mine is overseas in Iraq. Let's call him Adam. I think about Adam a lot. I was working on my car, and I thought about him PMCS-ing his HMMWV. It started to rain, and I thought about kissing him in the rain.
Ahh, you all don't know how I feel about kissing. Kissing is the most passionate expression of feeling every. Whether you kiss a friend on the cheek to let them know you are there and they are welcom, or it is a wonderfully romantic, during-a-thunderstorm-electrifying kiss with whomever you might want that with, it is a passionate form of expression. Actions really do speak louder than words. "I love you" as far as I'm concerned cannot truely be understood in words. "It's in his kiss" I beleive is the exact quote. It's true. I don't kiss on the first date. I don't kiss somoeone because they leaned in for one. If I don't feel something for someone before that kiss, I don't want to kiss them. Sex on the otherhand, can be a totally meaningless event, as long as there is no kissing. And yes, it can be done. I have done it many times. Friends with benefits. I just want to get laid sometimes, okay? Nothing wrong with the occasionaly booty call. Like my friend Mel(*name has been changed). Mel is beautiful. She is a great friend. I luv her dearly (yes I spelled it LUV). We watch out for each other. We met a few months ago in Addiction Counceling, aka REBT (don't ask me what it stands for). We hit it off right away. Recently, we've become very good, close friends. That's a lot to say, since I don't have very many female friends. She's a bitch like me. We understand that. And we have sex. We understand that there is no feelings involved, other than horny, of course. And when we are done, we go back to being just friends. Its a wonderful thing.
That thing might change though. I will still be friends with Mel, don't get me wrong. But the whole sex thing. I think that might stop. Yes, I'm still attracted to her. Yes, I still like sex. No, I'm not going prude. But I think I want to save myself. No, not save myself from going to hell, haha, I already have my reservations.... large suite on the south side of hell, overlooking the beautiful scenic FLAME PITS. Anyway, I want to save myself for someone that I think I could love. I mean, I won't know for sure, obviously, until I meet him. But he is someone I know I want to kiss. And kissing is passionate. I want to save the rest of me for him too, though. Not just my lips. All of me. And if I end up not loving him, then so be it. If he ends up not loving me, then so be it. I can hold off, even if it means no return. But I think the chance of that is slim. Whatever happens, I will be happy knowing that I did what I did for a reason. I have a choice. I've made my decision. It's a fair decision. I can't be selfish. So thank you Mel, for a good time, haha, and thank you Adam, for a reason to wait,
DORK
PS... that didn't turn out half bad, if I do say so myself. HAHA... I'll look at it tomorrow and shake my head in shame, I don't doubt.
This is the hard part. I don't write like I read. I don't write like I speak. And I don't type like I write. That is the key. I don't TYPE like I WRITE. Yes, there is a difference. I could use this to my advantage, or I could bitch and cry about like I did earlier this afternoon. I consider myself to be the proactive type. If I don't like something, I change it or fix it. And yes, I beleive in fixing that which is not necessarily broken. Gotta problem with that? Take it up with me.
I am cranky today. I am also productive today. And when I woke up, I was hungover today. I don't know what happened. I guess I got up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe a whole Jim's SteakOut Steak Hoagy Sub wasn't a good idea before bed. Ha, with the amount of food I eat, it's a wonder I don't weigh 300lbs. Productive. This makes me feel good. Good is, well, good. Ok... redundancy at its finest right there. Anyway, I repaired my car. I cleaned my car. I was thinking the whole time. I'm afraid though, that what I thought was boring to you. I don't care. I had thoughts. A good friend of mine is overseas in Iraq. Let's call him Adam. I think about Adam a lot. I was working on my car, and I thought about him PMCS-ing his HMMWV. It started to rain, and I thought about kissing him in the rain.
Ahh, you all don't know how I feel about kissing. Kissing is the most passionate expression of feeling every. Whether you kiss a friend on the cheek to let them know you are there and they are welcom, or it is a wonderfully romantic, during-a-thunderstorm-electrifying kiss with whomever you might want that with, it is a passionate form of expression. Actions really do speak louder than words. "I love you" as far as I'm concerned cannot truely be understood in words. "It's in his kiss" I beleive is the exact quote. It's true. I don't kiss on the first date. I don't kiss somoeone because they leaned in for one. If I don't feel something for someone before that kiss, I don't want to kiss them. Sex on the otherhand, can be a totally meaningless event, as long as there is no kissing. And yes, it can be done. I have done it many times. Friends with benefits. I just want to get laid sometimes, okay? Nothing wrong with the occasionaly booty call. Like my friend Mel(*name has been changed). Mel is beautiful. She is a great friend. I luv her dearly (yes I spelled it LUV). We watch out for each other. We met a few months ago in Addiction Counceling, aka REBT (don't ask me what it stands for). We hit it off right away. Recently, we've become very good, close friends. That's a lot to say, since I don't have very many female friends. She's a bitch like me. We understand that. And we have sex. We understand that there is no feelings involved, other than horny, of course. And when we are done, we go back to being just friends. Its a wonderful thing.
That thing might change though. I will still be friends with Mel, don't get me wrong. But the whole sex thing. I think that might stop. Yes, I'm still attracted to her. Yes, I still like sex. No, I'm not going prude. But I think I want to save myself. No, not save myself from going to hell, haha, I already have my reservations.... large suite on the south side of hell, overlooking the beautiful scenic FLAME PITS. Anyway, I want to save myself for someone that I think I could love. I mean, I won't know for sure, obviously, until I meet him. But he is someone I know I want to kiss. And kissing is passionate. I want to save the rest of me for him too, though. Not just my lips. All of me. And if I end up not loving him, then so be it. If he ends up not loving me, then so be it. I can hold off, even if it means no return. But I think the chance of that is slim. Whatever happens, I will be happy knowing that I did what I did for a reason. I have a choice. I've made my decision. It's a fair decision. I can't be selfish. So thank you Mel, for a good time, haha, and thank you Adam, for a reason to wait,
DORK
PS... that didn't turn out half bad, if I do say so myself. HAHA... I'll look at it tomorrow and shake my head in shame, I don't doubt.
pirateprince:
Every Adam has his Eve...