God, it has been farrrr too long. I missed everyone! My life has been absolutely insane. I got back with Ryan and things were going great.
Anyway, things went sour between us... go figure. I should have known that they would. I spent three days crying over him and last night, I made the decision to pick myself up off the floor and get my shit back together. I even got to go out and have a good time last night. And, of course, Ryan tried to ruin it by blowing my phone up with text messages saying that he wanted me back. But I stuck to my guns and told him that he was going to have to deal with his decision to end things with me.
A (male) friend of mine that goes to Western Illinois University drove all the way to Kewanee last night to come pick me up and then we turned around and drove back to WIU to hang out. It was kind of nice to have a guy that was willing to drive an hour and 45 minutes to come pick me up and then drive that same distance all the way back in one night when I was used to being with Ryan, who refused to even drive across town to see me.
Here is the problem: I slept with my friend, Ben. And I am kind of regretting it... even though it was a great lay! The thing is, I wanted to take things slow. But, damn it, I couldn't help it! I am hoping that I can calm myself down and really start to take things slow because the truth is, the thought of being with Ben scares the shit out of me. Especially because Ryan and I JUST broke up. But, at the same time, Ben and I have been friends for over 2 years and nothing physical has ever happened between us. So maybe that means that last night was about damn time that we had sex. Haha. Nice logic, Samee!
Ben and I have always had feelings for one another. And actually, about a month or two ago, I almost broke up with Ryan for him. Clearly now, I see that I should have followed through with it considering the fact that Ryan broke up with me. Oh well though.
What's meant to be will happen. 
I'm curious to see where I end up.
I'll keep you all posted.
Here are some new body mod updates!
1. I now have gauges in my ears. I am up to a 00 and am seriously considering going up a size!
2. I got a rook piercing last week. I love it.
3. You already saw the tattoo on my foot.
4. I got my stars added to! I will post a picture sometime, I am sure. But, right now, I am too damn lazy to take my shirt off and take a picture of my side. It now says "Believe in me because I was made for chasing Dreams," among the stars. I dig it.
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Look how long my hair is getting!!!
