samchallenger

I come to realize often that it's only our perceptions of life and our visions and understandings of what we're doing that keep us going. When that falls away and reality hits---you start clawing at the sides of the pit to keep your head above ground.
I know theoretically that that's what the buddhist 'nothingness' is all about is emerging into/ or rather letting go of the illusions of who we are and what we contantly dream up to be our reality---but damn does it sting when it comes back and hits you! It would proably do me good at some point to sit in a monastary for a few months and try to at least begin to accept it all on a regular basis.
I'm not off in lala land but I still grasp and hold onto ideas about well, damn near everything that are your basic run of the mill illusions without any grounds. And I know that we all do, but when the walls come crumbling down, you just start rebuilding another wall, another you----nothing dramtic; just a little dut tape and spackle to put the pieces in some sort of order.
My motivation now is to find out what's at the pit and learn to encounter anything at that base. I think I've done that one or two times on LSD, but I'm not interested in that avenue anymore. And, I preach it all the time and only sometimes practice it myself---ART, ART, ART!!!!!! We have to make it and make it without an idea of what it SHOULD look like or trying to attack a style--just another illusion----we should create to know who we really are---that stuff comes up from the pit cobwebs and all. I'm ready to revel in it.