Friday night I picked up this really cute girl at the supermarket. Not sure how i did it.. I just smiled a bunch at her and then she asked me if i needed help with my groceries. I said yes and she walked with me the 4 blocks home. Along the way i came to find out that she didn't have any plans and so I invited her to cook dinner with me and my friends. To my surprise she said yes. She came up and we all hung out and cooked and ate and drank and then played cards. She was cute as a button but the more she drank the more psycho she became.. she started talking about slitting her wrists and my friends and i stole those "OMG this girl is nuts" glances. We also soon realized that she was REALLY young...at first i couldn't tell and neither could they but then she started talking about her fake ID and depression and all the medications she was on and we all thought "WHOA!" I think somewhere in my mind i hoped that she would start to turn around and become a really "normal" girl but by the end of the night i knew i didn't need to ever see her again... she was just too much to handle.. too young.. too much bagage..
what happens to people like this?
who dates them?
how do people handle this shit?
is it just the crazy people who date the crazy people...
or do normal people think that they can somehow change the crazys?
I've run into this type of girl before and I always try and stay as far away as possible...
Or am i jumping to conclusions and should at least try and be her friend? hmm.... she does live three blocks from me....and doesn't know very many people.

hmmm..

in other news the conference went alright.. i was sort of a bumbling idiot but not too bad.. i do this shit because i want to get more comfortable with speaking in front of crowds and i think i was pretty good this time.... aside from the moment when you look out into the audience and actually notice that there are a ton of people and you sort of freeze up for a sec as your heart skips a beat...and then you loose track of what your saying... but i think in the end I recovered pretty well.

playlist:

Jorge Ben - A Tabua de Esmeralda
Manitoba - Start Breaking My Heart
The Velvet Underground & Nico (produced by Andy Warhol)