'i don't need a whole lotta money,
i don't need a big, fine car,
i got everything that a girl could want,
i got more than i could ask for.
i don't have to run around,
i don't hav to stay out all night,
'cause i got sweet, sweet lovin man
who knows just how to treat me right.
see, my baby, he's alright.
see, my baby, we're so tight.
don't you know he's some kind of wonderful'
the thing is, you know, that we all have these ways in which we see ourselves. and sometimes, things in life make you realize that maybe your self-image didn't change so much one of those times along the way when your self apparently did. and i'm not talking about physically. honestly, in the last 6 months i've given up having any idea what i look like (evidenced by the fact that i thought i still didn't look very pregnant when i have my big coat on. yeah, right, michelin woman).
but in terms of WHO you think you are, you know?
i have this tendency to be, er, i would say overly independent. as in: 'i'll do it myself, leave me the fuck alone' kind of overly independent. i've gotten enough shit about it from exes in the past to finally put some stock in the idea. the thing is -- i'm really having to face facts that that ain't so anymore. yes, i'm dealing with actual chemical and physical changes, but...
i don't like to think of myself as the type of person that needs anyone else. and really, i haven't for the most part in the past. i've had some wonderful people who have improved my life - but it was always by choice, not by necessity. thing is, now there are times that i definitely need iron. times when i am just sure i'd collapse in upon myself if not for his arms holding me up. and for a while i really didn't wanna admit that. because, well, i guess i thought it made me weak in a way. but, goddammit, he's the only person in my adult life who has ever made it all better just by telling me it's all better.
i don't believe in the hearts and flowers and romance bullshit, right? 'cause, let's face it, it's just absurd to look to another person to make you happy. but what if - just what if - you don't look to them to do it and they do it, without fail, every single fucking day just by existing? what if the sheer knowledge of this person's presence is enough to get you through most of it? and, when it gets really bad, he wraps you up in those strong arms and together you canboth weather the storm?
i'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, knowing that that's so and believing it and nurturing it might not be weakness. it might just be happiness...
::update:: please go wish Wichcraft66 a mother-fuckin happy 21st, would you?
i don't need a big, fine car,
i got everything that a girl could want,
i got more than i could ask for.
i don't have to run around,
i don't hav to stay out all night,
'cause i got sweet, sweet lovin man
who knows just how to treat me right.
see, my baby, he's alright.
see, my baby, we're so tight.
don't you know he's some kind of wonderful'
the thing is, you know, that we all have these ways in which we see ourselves. and sometimes, things in life make you realize that maybe your self-image didn't change so much one of those times along the way when your self apparently did. and i'm not talking about physically. honestly, in the last 6 months i've given up having any idea what i look like (evidenced by the fact that i thought i still didn't look very pregnant when i have my big coat on. yeah, right, michelin woman).
but in terms of WHO you think you are, you know?
i have this tendency to be, er, i would say overly independent. as in: 'i'll do it myself, leave me the fuck alone' kind of overly independent. i've gotten enough shit about it from exes in the past to finally put some stock in the idea. the thing is -- i'm really having to face facts that that ain't so anymore. yes, i'm dealing with actual chemical and physical changes, but...
i don't like to think of myself as the type of person that needs anyone else. and really, i haven't for the most part in the past. i've had some wonderful people who have improved my life - but it was always by choice, not by necessity. thing is, now there are times that i definitely need iron. times when i am just sure i'd collapse in upon myself if not for his arms holding me up. and for a while i really didn't wanna admit that. because, well, i guess i thought it made me weak in a way. but, goddammit, he's the only person in my adult life who has ever made it all better just by telling me it's all better.
i don't believe in the hearts and flowers and romance bullshit, right? 'cause, let's face it, it's just absurd to look to another person to make you happy. but what if - just what if - you don't look to them to do it and they do it, without fail, every single fucking day just by existing? what if the sheer knowledge of this person's presence is enough to get you through most of it? and, when it gets really bad, he wraps you up in those strong arms and together you canboth weather the storm?
i'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, knowing that that's so and believing it and nurturing it might not be weakness. it might just be happiness...
::update:: please go wish Wichcraft66 a mother-fuckin happy 21st, would you?
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
I hope to one day have someone who makes me feel the way he makes you feel. I am so happy for you. There is nothing wrong with knowing that someone makes you truly happy with just one thought or glance. That is how it is supposed to be.