I mean literally insane, first of all I don't know how to occupy my mind, I do a lot of yoga and spin but my reasons for time off this time are health related and doctors orders are not much activity, lots of rest. So I spend my time eating, sleeping, getting frustrated by googling a) myself and reading what forum idiots have to say about my scenes or b) other girls and wondering why they get booked for this movie etc... and I wasn't... even though I am fully aware that I cannot appear in every single porn movie ever made, I still get that irritating sense of anxiety. I've been up since 5am with Fang dog, achieving nothing off the long list of chores I need to do. whyyyyy