Okay here is some more of my "writing" it sounds emo kinda so I please beg you to deal with it or I will have to cram it up your ass
Some days I sit in front of this machine and I feel dependent upon it. I sit and stare and wait, hoping. I pray and wish and try to be patient. Every second that ticks away I feel more anxious. I double click and point hoping something will be there. I open my messenger and theres nothing there. My heart sinks and my eyes well. So I see that I have mail and quickly dart there. I check all of them and its just the crap I dont want. I sink farther down. Its lonely down here. Some days I get something, but lately you have so much to do. I am afraid I will be forgotten. With school, work, and going to circle, you have no time left. I am only dust that flies by your mind in a flittering moment and then I am gone. Its funny how I have become reliant on a machine to help ease my loneliness. However in the end it just makes me feel lonelier and more empty than I did the day before. I dont think it really matters much. It doesnt mean anything at all. When I am hollow the sounds of the river echo through me. I quit fighting the river and now I am driftwood waiting to see where my journey ends. I noticed after I lost my cat I started feeling needy. I begged that girl to stay with me. The girl you said wasnt very pretty. I was rejected and I felt like such a loser. It bit me like blades of the knife and eventually the outside looked like the inside. Some days I dont even want to turn you on, some days I want to throw you to the floor and smash you into pieces. But I dont, I cant. This little box has my only hope connected to it. This keyboard has pieces of my soul flowing through it. This monitor relays letters from a place where my heart resides. If I kill it, I kill a part of me. Is love always going to hurt?
Some days I sit in front of this machine and I feel dependent upon it. I sit and stare and wait, hoping. I pray and wish and try to be patient. Every second that ticks away I feel more anxious. I double click and point hoping something will be there. I open my messenger and theres nothing there. My heart sinks and my eyes well. So I see that I have mail and quickly dart there. I check all of them and its just the crap I dont want. I sink farther down. Its lonely down here. Some days I get something, but lately you have so much to do. I am afraid I will be forgotten. With school, work, and going to circle, you have no time left. I am only dust that flies by your mind in a flittering moment and then I am gone. Its funny how I have become reliant on a machine to help ease my loneliness. However in the end it just makes me feel lonelier and more empty than I did the day before. I dont think it really matters much. It doesnt mean anything at all. When I am hollow the sounds of the river echo through me. I quit fighting the river and now I am driftwood waiting to see where my journey ends. I noticed after I lost my cat I started feeling needy. I begged that girl to stay with me. The girl you said wasnt very pretty. I was rejected and I felt like such a loser. It bit me like blades of the knife and eventually the outside looked like the inside. Some days I dont even want to turn you on, some days I want to throw you to the floor and smash you into pieces. But I dont, I cant. This little box has my only hope connected to it. This keyboard has pieces of my soul flowing through it. This monitor relays letters from a place where my heart resides. If I kill it, I kill a part of me. Is love always going to hurt?