sam_none

Today at work, I was starting to feel a little fatigued and I thought I could use a break. The problem was, I had already taken all of my breaks for the day. Since this kind of thing has happened before, I bought a monkey that I keep in my desk drawer. Whenever I need an extra break, I take the monkey out of the desk drawer and set him in my chair and let him do my job for a while. I pulled him out of the desk drawer, set him in my chair, grabbed my iPod and went to the break room.

When I got in the break room, I really just needed to clear my head from everything that's been going on and relax. Only my brain, which seems to have a problem with me, had different ideas. While I was trying to clear my head, my brain throws in this chicken vs egg debate. Now I can't clear my head because I'm trying to decide which came first.

My first thought was that the chicken had to come first because something had to lay the egg. After I chewed on this for a few minutes, I decided that was wrong and the egg had to come first. The idea for his was that since every thing evolved from something else, at some point, something that wasn't a chicken must have laid a mutant egg from which a chicken emerged. Then I was thinking, if we take it down to a DNA level, how different would the mutant chicken really be from the creature that laid it? Maybe the DNA of the thing that laid the mutant chicken and everything else is so similar that we all actually have some chicken in us. So that brought me back to the idea that the chicken had to come first. Then I started having these extensional thoughts about everything is the same even if it's different. So there is no difference between a chicken, an egg, or even me. The whole question then seemed moot. Then my brain takes me to left field and I start wondering if a meteor fell to earth and maybe the meteor had little eggs on it and that's the reason for life on earth. Then I thought, maybe chickens are actually from outer space and their spaceship crash landed somewhere a really long time ago and that's where the myth of the Phoenix rising from the flames came from. It wasn't a mythological bird, It was just a space chicken trying to escape from a crashed spaceship. I knew it was more likely to have been a chicken trying to escape from a barbecue pit, but that led to all types of other questions.

With all this going through my head, I decided I needed to end my break and go back to work. I realized that doing my job actually requires much less brain power and that it would probably help me clear my mind more. When I got back to my desk, I found out that the monkey had been doing such a great job that he had been promoted to supervisor. This didn't bother so much, because I assumed he must have more enthusiasm for the job since he hasn't been doing it for as long as I, the thing that bothered me was that people were calling him Hugh. Nobody in the office noticed that I had replaced myself with a monkey. I guess I wouldn't have minded so much if it had been a chimpanzee but a monkey was really insulting.

Now that the monkey was my supervisor and knew that I had been using him to slack off at work, he put me on written warning and demanded that I start keeping him in the large desk drawer instead of the medium sized one. The monkey didn't last too long as supervisor though. He tried to use my trick of using an animal to replace him while he slacks off and takes a break. His mistakes was, he used a sloth and the sloth didn't get anything done when he was off eating bananas. Due to his lack of productivity, the monkey had to be let go.

I'm thinking about getting another monkey but I can see the same type of thing happening again. Besides, I prefer feeling the calmness of having no thoughts going through my head while I'm working as opposed to the frustration caused by trying to comprehend thoughts that are much too deep for me.