My Vasectomy
I just posted in Geezers... a Very Bad Memory!!
Information bit #1: I was in the US Navy at the time.
Information bit #2: I don't like pain.
I go to the office of the Dr. I will trust my future to; physically and with respect to progeny. He is the only one there. No secretary, no nurse, no indication of another living soul within 300 yards!
We talk just a bit about my medical history, my decision to get "cut" and his insistence I verify my willingness and permission to move forward with this simple procedure by making scratches on a piece of paper saying I hold that RAT BASTSTARD harmless of Fucking ANYTHING!!
Now the door closes and the perpetrator asks me to remove my pants and underpants and get up on his desk... (Yes... his desk). Being a Navy guy, I did what I was told! No Prob! He explained what he would do at every step so I would be relaxed and not stressed in any way...
First he washed my groin area and nutsack (technical term) with betadine. Good start! Betadine kills germs!
Then he told me I would feel a small pinch as he injected the anesthesia into my sac, (another Technical Term!). Then, he said, you will feel me inject anesthesia into your vas deferens to numb it for the procedure.
Excellent!! Couldn't Possibly be as bad as a shot at the dentist's!! YAY!! And when he started on my right nut, everything went perfect! Wow! This guy ranks right up there with Christian Bernhard, the first guy to ever successfully transplant a heart!
He was great at washing me, injecting feel-good stuff in my sac, cutting, sewing, etc... Awesome in fact!
Until he reached my Left testicle...
He injected my left sac and I could feel no pain there... but when he went to inject my vas deferens he put the needle straight through it into the other side of my sac!! I really didn't notice this at first because when he cut through my skin I didn't even feel a thing!!
I was Happy!! I was Calm!! I was Relaxed!!
But when he clamped my vas deferens it was as if I had been kicked in the nuts by a Fucking MMA fighter!! HOLY SHIT!! I came off the table in one bound as if launched by a fucking rocket!! I thought I had died and gone to HELL! PAIN CANNOT POSSIBLY GET THIS BAD!!!!
Well, he eventually finished the procedure and gave me his card with the explicit command to Call Him If i Have Any Problems!
I did!
I called him when my left nut had gotten very painful and swollen!! I took out the card and called him! He told me to come to his office and I did, dutiful sailor that I was! He discovered I had EpididymitisII OK.. fine! He gave me medicine which cured everything in about 3 days!
It's All Good!
...until about 6 months later when the Navy, who had referred me to the Perp in the first place, received the bill. You would have thought The Navy had gotten kicked in the nutsack!!
Needless to say, I was in some pretty big trouble for a while because I went to him instead of going to the Navy when I had problems! Things eventually settled down and I had left nut pain for 10 years until I had a reversal.
...but that's another story...
I just posted in Geezers... a Very Bad Memory!!
Information bit #1: I was in the US Navy at the time.
Information bit #2: I don't like pain.
I go to the office of the Dr. I will trust my future to; physically and with respect to progeny. He is the only one there. No secretary, no nurse, no indication of another living soul within 300 yards!
We talk just a bit about my medical history, my decision to get "cut" and his insistence I verify my willingness and permission to move forward with this simple procedure by making scratches on a piece of paper saying I hold that RAT BASTSTARD harmless of Fucking ANYTHING!!
Now the door closes and the perpetrator asks me to remove my pants and underpants and get up on his desk... (Yes... his desk). Being a Navy guy, I did what I was told! No Prob! He explained what he would do at every step so I would be relaxed and not stressed in any way...
First he washed my groin area and nutsack (technical term) with betadine. Good start! Betadine kills germs!
Then he told me I would feel a small pinch as he injected the anesthesia into my sac, (another Technical Term!). Then, he said, you will feel me inject anesthesia into your vas deferens to numb it for the procedure.Excellent!! Couldn't Possibly be as bad as a shot at the dentist's!! YAY!!
And when he started on my right nut, everything went perfect! Wow! This guy ranks right up there with Christian Bernhard, the first guy to ever successfully transplant a heart!He was great at washing me, injecting feel-good stuff in my sac, cutting, sewing, etc... Awesome in fact!
Until he reached my Left testicle...
He injected my left sac and I could feel no pain there... but when he went to inject my vas deferens he put the needle straight through it into the other side of my sac!! I really didn't notice this at first because when he cut through my skin I didn't even feel a thing!!
I was Happy!! I was Calm!! I was Relaxed!!
But when he clamped my vas deferens it was as if I had been kicked in the nuts by a Fucking MMA fighter!! HOLY SHIT!! I came off the table in one bound as if launched by a fucking rocket!! I thought I had died and gone to HELL! PAIN CANNOT POSSIBLY GET THIS BAD!!!!
Well, he eventually finished the procedure and gave me his card with the explicit command to Call Him If i Have Any Problems!
I did!
I called him when my left nut had gotten very painful and swollen!! I took out the card and called him! He told me to come to his office and I did, dutiful sailor that I was!
He discovered I had EpididymitisII OK.. fine! He gave me medicine which cured everything in about 3 days!It's All Good!
...until about 6 months later when the Navy, who had referred me to the Perp in the first place, received the bill. You would have thought The Navy had gotten kicked in the nutsack!!
Needless to say, I was in some pretty big trouble for a while because I went to him instead of going to the Navy when I had problems! Things eventually settled down and I had left nut pain for 10 years until I had a reversal.
...but that's another story...