to the girl i used to love:
Your sorry eyes cut through the bone
They make it hard to leave you alone
Leave you here wearing your wounds
Waving your guns at somebody new
Baby you're lost
Baby you're a lost cause
There's a place where you are going
You ain't never been before
No one left to watch your back now
No one standing at your door
Ain't that's what you thought love was for
Baby you're lost
Baby you're lost
Baby you're a lost cause
I'm tired of fighting
I'm tired of fighting
Fighting for a lost cause
--
end transmission
--
It always seems to me, that it's when life seems despondent, is when things fall apart. The crutches that you thought were there, to hold you up when you find yourself unable to walk, seem frail and unwilling.
You find yourself standing in a dark, winter forest. Nothing touching you, but the cold sharpness of the wind on your cheeks. The feeling of solitude and despair creep over the mind and heart. Like a cancer. Paralyzing the soul, and exausting any feeling of hope your resolve still clinged to.
And the thing you hate most about the situation, is that you are fully conscious of the reality that you are, to yourself and to others, this depressing black cloud. Yet for some reason, despite your best efforts of deception, unable to change the weather.
The relationship with the woman i love is crumbling.
I've only done a few paid photosets lately. Which means i'm probally going to have to get a soul-sucking, minimum wage job in order to feed myself.
I know very few people in this city. So i find myself alone quite often.
The few friends i do have here seem more and more like caricatures every day.
And I haven't really been home in over 12 years.
I'm starting to feel like there is no point to me existing. Not as in 'i'd be better off dead." More like the triangle in a world of round holes.
I'm even more bitter about the fact, that the only person i can communicate this to, is a fucking journal entry.
money can't buy happiness?!
i don't know about you....but i'd sure be fucking happy if i weren't broke.
Your sorry eyes cut through the bone
They make it hard to leave you alone
Leave you here wearing your wounds
Waving your guns at somebody new
Baby you're lost
Baby you're a lost cause
There's a place where you are going
You ain't never been before
No one left to watch your back now
No one standing at your door
Ain't that's what you thought love was for
Baby you're lost
Baby you're lost
Baby you're a lost cause
I'm tired of fighting
I'm tired of fighting
Fighting for a lost cause
--
end transmission
--
It always seems to me, that it's when life seems despondent, is when things fall apart. The crutches that you thought were there, to hold you up when you find yourself unable to walk, seem frail and unwilling.
You find yourself standing in a dark, winter forest. Nothing touching you, but the cold sharpness of the wind on your cheeks. The feeling of solitude and despair creep over the mind and heart. Like a cancer. Paralyzing the soul, and exausting any feeling of hope your resolve still clinged to.
And the thing you hate most about the situation, is that you are fully conscious of the reality that you are, to yourself and to others, this depressing black cloud. Yet for some reason, despite your best efforts of deception, unable to change the weather.
The relationship with the woman i love is crumbling.
I've only done a few paid photosets lately. Which means i'm probally going to have to get a soul-sucking, minimum wage job in order to feed myself.
I know very few people in this city. So i find myself alone quite often.
The few friends i do have here seem more and more like caricatures every day.
And I haven't really been home in over 12 years.
I'm starting to feel like there is no point to me existing. Not as in 'i'd be better off dead." More like the triangle in a world of round holes.
I'm even more bitter about the fact, that the only person i can communicate this to, is a fucking journal entry.
money can't buy happiness?!
i don't know about you....but i'd sure be fucking happy if i weren't broke.