saintbasil

still being a procrastinating bastard. havent written the damn speech. finding it hard to write something nice and beautiful about a loveless sham of a marriage. lets thank religious endorsed gender roles and arranged marriages for staying together. not much love in my family unlike my mother i dont love someone just "cause i have to." i still dont get why i have to give a speech if im the biggest dissapointment ever and a godless heathen whos goin to hell. part of me just wants the lie through my teeth and make shit up and get it over w/. the other part of me doesnt want to give them the satisfaction of making an elequant speech. and i really really want the asshole part of me to win this one. fuckin nice guy conscience. this whole weekend is jsut... arg! fuckin arg.