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sailorfrank

Los Angeles

Member Since 2006

Followers 82 Following 99

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Monday Jan 07, 2008

Jan 6, 2008
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Just spent a lovely evening with Vic, the trans boi from NYE. Shooting pool, talking, getting to know one another... a nice date.

There is a lot to say on the subject, but I'm not really capable of coherently phrasing it all. But needless to say it mirrors all the other occasions where I have first in depth getting to know one another experiences with people who invariably become loves.

I knew from before that Vic could become a love. This just set me on the path.

It's these kinds of things that make me appreciate that I found out about Poly when I did. Because this would be painful at best if a connection like that would have to be cut off.

How can mono people demand their partners shut themselves off from possibilities like this? How could mono people shut themselves off? Why on earth would it even be a good thing?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
valcapone:
I think the decision to be polygamous or monogamous really depends on the person you're with. I've done both, and I don't like the assumption of monogamy that occurs in most relationships, but when you're with somebody you really love, at least for me, I find I don't WANT to be in multiple relationships. I don't think one person can ever be everything you want or need, but that's why you have various kinds of relationships in your life: friends, family, lovers, etc. I guess it all depends on how much importance you place on physical expressions of love, because that's the part that usually makes things messy. Right now, I value my monogamous relationship with my boyfriend more than sleeping with a variety of other people. If it ever becomes an issue where I am more and more tempted by other partners, then we'd have to discuss. But for now, I really don't want or need anyone else in my love life, and I like being monogamous.
Jan 6, 2008
__rosemary__:
sigh...
He is talking about not limiting yourself and making needless rules.
It's fine to love only one peron and have sex with only one person, but why make a rule that tells you to shut out other possiblilities?? Why upset yourself or your partner with the term cheating? Why put yourself through a guilt trip if you end up falling in love with a close friend?
And it's not about valuing your relationship more than sleeping with multiple people, because poly is not about sleeping around. It's about being free, you shouldn't have to choose between your partner and someone else. Why not be open to both?
Jan 12, 2008

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