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saige

In fucking Illinois

Hopeful Since 2008

Followers 1023 Following 363

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Saturday Jul 05, 2008

Jul 5, 2008
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Yes well today is my birthday, that's right I'm 19 years of age on this day.
I'm not sure if there's anything really special about being 19, like being 13 and 16 and 18, and then 21, and then after that...? Is there anything left really worth celebrating? Or is it all downhill from there? Like, Yep, I'm another year closer to death, yay me.
I'm not sure I'm happy about this whole getting older thing.
I'm supposed to be an ADULT by now, but I kinda feel like I'm still just 16 years old, I feel like I'm still just a dumb kid most of the time. I keep thinking I'm gonna grow outta that but it hasnt happened yet...
Have any of you grown up yet? haha.

Well this day may or may not be fun for me, my boyfriend's brother is a fucking free-loader and owes my man almost $400, which he was supposed to bring to him a week ago when he got his check, but never did. So now my boyfriend is broke on my birthday and we can't do all the fun stuff we had planned... is it selfish of me to be upset about that? I'm really not even that upset about him bieng broke for my birthday, it's just that my bf gets taken advantage of my his family so much because he's the only one of them that has made anything of his life. Last week his mom asked to borrow $40, said she'd pay him back that Friday; well she disappeared, yep, took off with some guy to who the fuck knows where and has not contacted her son since. His brother is constantly asking him for money and never paying him back, but my bf cares about him alot so he keeps lending it to him even though he knows the promises of payback are basically empty, although he somehow still retains hope that his brother will do the right hting and pay him back. Which he never does.
And so fucking shoot me, but that infuriates me!
I cannot stand to watch people I love, especially the man I'm in love with, get taken advantage of and walked all over, even by his own damn family. I am so upset over this, especially because I know how upset he is. I know it's hurting him really bad that his own mother and brother are doing this to him, and that makes me so fucking angry...

*sigh*
anger monkeys...
ooo aaa
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
ferkixlll:
Happy Un-Birthday; just because your Growing doesn't mean you have
to be "grown up".
It's all a state of mind. You decide how you want to age. Be excellent.
Jul 28, 2008
dorsal:
thank you ox
Aug 1, 2008

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