Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats Tip

saffire

dead

SG Since 2007

Followers 1562 Following 1011

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Monday Dec 22, 2008

Dec 22, 2008
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Hello SG's, ladies and rockermen.

I have a story that would take you turn in your grave and maggots from Satan himself crawl out of your eyes into pools of acid. I shall call this story...

Vomit Volcano.

Earlier on today as I was writing to a dear friend of mine when odd things started to happen. My computer screen began wobbling and I felt sea sick. I am in Australia on holiday and according to my memory (lack of) I thought there were no fault lines, therefore no earthquakes. But I couldn't be sure.

The house began to shake and I ran with the dog outside, the dog was unphased, and everything else looked fine.

So I got back on the computer and it started again, I listened for a moment and realised that the unimaginable was happening. GROSS!!!!!!! TOTALLY FUCKING GROSS!!!!!! I remembered that my friend had a lady chick round and they were doing it!!! EEWWWWW. Just imagine a person you know that to think of them making whoop whoop would disgust you, I think he had the hots for me ages ago and that made it worse.

It gets way worse.. She starts moaning, you wont believe this he's just come in as I was writing this!! I can't even look at him. Then he starts moaning, so I took the dog back outside and did some washing, GOOD LORD you should never have to cope with that. It was bad enough hearing my sis doing it, and accidently mum and dad.

I texted the mates we lived with "SOMETHING HORRIBLE IS HAPPENING IN YOUR HOUSE!!! J IS DOING IT!!!!"
"Jesus Christ!! Get outta there!!!" They replied.

I sat down at the table to eat breakfast. J came in to the kitchen, then starting singing and whistling. This man is getting more cunt than me and he's a fugly! He came and sat next to me with his gut hangin out and started eating a 3 day old stew that we made. I stared into my musli as he went on talking about things that reminded me of them having sex. He went to use the microwave and asked me to come and look inside it. In there were about 6 stinky sausages shaped like penises, the other house mates left it in there by accident. I just wanted to shout "You've had sex! You're gross."

Then I noticed love bites and scratches all over his body. I spewed in my mouth briefly. He mentioned the southbank public pool and how it was gross that people were having sex in there after hours when kids play in there during the day. I burst out laughing and pretended it was a coughing fit.

One day I will have sex again... and I will feel sexy.

xxxxxxxxxxx
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
scotty:
hey girly girl!

you back overseas yet?
Jan 5, 2009
tribeofone:
If you want to keep traveling, I'm in Texas.. wink
Jan 19, 2009

More Blogs

  • 03.26.08
    5

    Wednesday Mar 26, 2008

    Thoughts to ponder. What is felching? Is it gerbils up the stink tun…
  • 01.28.08
    3

    Monday Jan 28, 2008

    Bratisfuckingslava. Or Blatistrava if you're name is Sam... or was it…
  • 12.18.07
    13

    Tuesday Dec 18, 2007

    I am a sexual explorer... I love nothing more than to wonder round my…
  • 12.17.07
    3

    Monday Dec 17, 2007

    Someone asked where I was from today and this is what I told them... …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

24
years
0
months
11
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,610 SuicideGirls
  • 0 followers
  • 14,976,612 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,525,972 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Complaint / Content Removal Policy | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo