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sadistc

Berkeley Springs, WV but was born in NJ, and before that, the mom's va jay-jay

Hopeful Since 2008

Followers 431 Following 362

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Thursday May 07, 2009

May 7, 2009
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Well, I've sold (without listing) like 2 items of clothing. Also, went to the doctors (not specifically about my back, 3 month follow up on the anxiety) but mentioned about how my back had gotten a whole lot worse. He said IThat noone would give me an MRI without having an up to date X-ray, so I went and got that done the same night. Was kinda expensive, but hell, this whole, figuring out wha's wrong rather than just the symptoms is gonna put me in debt anyway >_>

Of course the X-ray showed nothing, since well, it's not a god damned bone issue...so now I need to call the doc, get a referral to a neurologist (I believe) which will ALSO be expensive, and a private practice is more likely to sue me...yay. So, here's hoping My set gets bought, it goes live in 9 days, so I really hope it pays off...it'll help a whole lot if it would.

So yeah, pain hasn't gone away...constant pain every day, kinda like house, only I'm using pot, not vicadin, and I even have a cane. Poppy actually made me my own person cane, hand carved :} I'm gonna paint it, then he'll put the clear coating on it biggrin so, hey, there's my bright side to this shit. Also, I'll appreciate non-pain days again, if I ever have one again...I used to.

Hmm, Oh, My Nanny's best friend, Linda (who made the skirt I'm wearing in Magic Hour died yesterday...Nanny called up to chit chat, and asked her husband if she was awake yet. His response was "No, she's dead" apparently, she never woke up. She had been sick lately, and self medicating...started hallucinating, so the meds were taken away from what I understand, but then she just died...She's been a little crazy for a few years now, so I've been rather distant from her (she lives in Jersey) But I feel really bad for nanny, because that was her last friend, minus the one who had a stroke, and well, isn't all there anymore either...Plus, Linda was a really good friend of mine, I grew up with her, she looked at me as another daughter, etc. However, I'm not that sad about it. I mourned her loss with a few tears, but honestly, death is a part of being human. There are very few people I would legitimately ball over if they died...I'll miss linda, and her crazy antics, I really will.

On a much lighter note, amanda is letting me go a non natural color for her wedding. She suggested burgandy, and is gonan get me manic panic deadly nightshade. It should be "ok" for it. Also, thanks to my new DD's, I can't really fit into the dress. I "can" but I can't breath, which aggravates my tietze. I almost passed out during the fitting, because I literally couldn't take a breath that was worth anything.

It almost sucks that the only thing that helps my back even slightly is pot, because my lungs are paying for it. It's not the pot, it's just the fact that it's any kind of smoke. My asthma is really bad...But I can manage with the breathing issue with meds...i can't with my back, at least not with ones I have...and I doubt there's much that can help nerve pain.

So the long road to attempting to get on Disability (which won't be hard with my back, just need a diagnosis first) has started...


on another note, again, mom's jailbait to be is gonna be out aabout the same day my set goes live, a day or so before...damn it do I hate him...and I've never meet him in person, that's how much he sucks, he's literally given me enough reason to never wanna even talk to him, and I have yet to meet him. I'm not being judgmental either, as, if you've read my previous blogs, I've dealt with his douchery for years through phone, writing, etc. I can't stand him. I feel like I'm going to loose my mother to him on top of all that, which I doubt will happen, but seriously, if I loose my best friend, I'm gonna be irate.

eh, that's enough rambeling for one night, off to play unreal, as I've beat majora's mask...or maybe I'll play Guildwars, Because I made a new character today....choices choices....

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