sadieblackeyes

I hate smalltalk, but sometimes it feels like that's the only thing to say nowadays. I still want to talk, but I have nothing worth saying. I suppose I never did really, but sometimes it felt like it.

Major upheaval is a good thing, sometimes, I think, because it gives you a chance for a fresh start. New chances, new dreams, and you get to view your mistakes with perspective. See where you're going wrong, I suppose. It scares me to think of the amount of wasted potential, wasted experiences there are in the world. And I'm tired of wasting mine. I want to do everything, I want every experience, I want to feel like I'm flying.

I get addicted to people, to the way they make me feel. Sometimes not even a person in particular, just.. people. I love the stories I hear from the people I meet, they way every little human being comes attached to its own personality.

My friend, she doesn't realise that he will be singing about her for the rest of his life. Promises she has long forgot still linger in his mind, taunting him as he falls asleep alone, and she lies awake with someone else. In 20 years time, he will remember even more fondly the summer glowing with honey coloured light, when the world seemed much bigger and when she loved him back.

I do not want that to ever happen to me. I do not want my entire life to always be just a part of someone elses story. I want to see the world, I want to meet as many different people as I can, I want all those postmodern road trip moments of tragically hip photo oppurtunity and I want them to just happen. Just like the rest of the world does.

I want to be free, but I don't know what from.