sadie

well hopefully my dad gives me a ride to the marin county jail on saturday. the golden gate transit website is horrible and their maps for their buses suck even more and the transit trip planner doesnt even recognize the jails address as a place to travel to. if i could figure out how to get there before saturday i would. Eli tried to call me but it wouldnt go through cause i didnt have an account set up so i set up an account but it takes 3-15 days to process ugh. I'm hoping he got my letter and thats why he called or maybe its because he had court today. i miss him so much but my friends keep reminding of the names he called when we broke up. but i havent had hardly anytime to talk to about anything so i'm not taking those into coincideration. i'm even thinking about getting a job which i dont know if i can or not cause of disability but i want to be able to support us when he gets out cause i dont want him to go back to his old living situation. i called his asshole roommate yesturday and he said i wish you would have just let him die and would barely listen and wouldnt even let me finish what i was trying to tell him. ugh i cant stop guilty for what i did. i really hope i get to see him this weekend until then i wont know anything about whats going on in his head or how long hes going to be away.

i havent worked in almost a year i cant even belive i'm actually thinking about this. he has a 10,000 dollar bail but i was reading a bail bonds might only cost 10 percent of that if only i had 1000 dollars.