sadie

i'm sad yesturday i felt releaved after breaking up with eli, but my actions of calling 911 because he treatened suicide have resulted in him being arrested. hes probably going to be in jail for months and i feel horrible. i feel like i have no one to turn to who will understand cause everyone in my life seems to be against him and happy about our break up. it didnt hit me until a few minutes ago how my actions make me feel. hes probably being transfered to marin county on friday and i wont be able to visit him until he gets to marin cause san franciscos jail's visiting hours are only on the weekends. getting to marin is a big hassel its the hardest part of the bay area to access by bus and the most exspensive. those stupid rich white people dont even have the address posted on the fucking internet and the asshole who i talked to on the phone to get eli's information gave me a wrong number to call to get more information on him. i'm very torn with my emotions right now part of me wants to be mad for the way eli's treated me and called me names after breaking up with him and all his annoying pleas to give him money to get high but i guess i'm also realizing part of me loves him and wishes i could at least call him. if you want to help me get to marin county jail in a week or so i'll gladly pay for it.