Luck was running with me today.
Today was, for all intents and purposes, a normal Friday. Things went well this morning, but then they usually do. Had a normal dinner. On Friday aftenoons, I take my Mom to a town about 20 miles away, to get her hair done. She has a standing 2pm appointment every Friday. For those of you who don't know, my Mom is elderly....not in great health....and doesn't get around very well. But, going to get her hair done (as elderly women are want to do) always makes her feel better and picks up her spirits. It takes about an hour. While she is there getting her hair coiffed, I go run errands and do my grocery shopping for the week.
I get to the grocery store....it's not a very busy place today for some reason. I grab a cart and head to fhe far end and down the first aisle. So far, so good....everything and smooth. Here's where the luck comes in. About 1/2 way down the second aisle, I feel it start. It's a pressure......hardly noticeable at first....but a definite pressure in my gut....and it's building. Not only is it building, but it's building rapidly. I continue down the aisle...taking something here and there...nodding to other customers as we pass. Now I'm in the 3rd aisle. The pressure has grown exponetially in the last few seconds. There is no doubt about it now....a big ol' fart is brewing and I don't think I can stop it....or control it. I can't think what I ate, that might have caused it. I hadn't had any symptoms or warning prior....but there it was....growing in my gut like a helium balloon at an 8 year olds birthday party. I round into the 4th aisle and low and behold......it's empty! Not a cart pusher in sight. I was sure this was my only chance! I rapidly pushed my cart to midway in the aisle...looked both ways to make sure I was still clear....and ever so slowly clenched my cheeks and made a perfectly silent, controlled release. The relief was enormous! With still no one in sight, I hustled to the end of the aisle and rounded into the 5th shopping lane. By the time I reached midway into the 5th aisle, I caught a slight aroma of my handy work coming up and over the food rack.....it was not good. Moments after that, I heard an "Oh my God!" from the 4th aisle, as a lady passed through the offending cloud. I innocently and obliviously looking, picked a can of coffee off the shelf and rounded into the 6th aisle. I'm pretty sure there was just a hint of a smile on my face....but I tried to look just as board as everyone else.
Later, I did fell kind of bad about it.....but I didn't have much choice. It was either do what I did....or blow up and cause myself an injury. Lady luck smiled on me today.
Today was, for all intents and purposes, a normal Friday. Things went well this morning, but then they usually do. Had a normal dinner. On Friday aftenoons, I take my Mom to a town about 20 miles away, to get her hair done. She has a standing 2pm appointment every Friday. For those of you who don't know, my Mom is elderly....not in great health....and doesn't get around very well. But, going to get her hair done (as elderly women are want to do) always makes her feel better and picks up her spirits. It takes about an hour. While she is there getting her hair coiffed, I go run errands and do my grocery shopping for the week.
I get to the grocery store....it's not a very busy place today for some reason. I grab a cart and head to fhe far end and down the first aisle. So far, so good....everything and smooth. Here's where the luck comes in. About 1/2 way down the second aisle, I feel it start. It's a pressure......hardly noticeable at first....but a definite pressure in my gut....and it's building. Not only is it building, but it's building rapidly. I continue down the aisle...taking something here and there...nodding to other customers as we pass. Now I'm in the 3rd aisle. The pressure has grown exponetially in the last few seconds. There is no doubt about it now....a big ol' fart is brewing and I don't think I can stop it....or control it. I can't think what I ate, that might have caused it. I hadn't had any symptoms or warning prior....but there it was....growing in my gut like a helium balloon at an 8 year olds birthday party. I round into the 4th aisle and low and behold......it's empty! Not a cart pusher in sight. I was sure this was my only chance! I rapidly pushed my cart to midway in the aisle...looked both ways to make sure I was still clear....and ever so slowly clenched my cheeks and made a perfectly silent, controlled release. The relief was enormous! With still no one in sight, I hustled to the end of the aisle and rounded into the 5th shopping lane. By the time I reached midway into the 5th aisle, I caught a slight aroma of my handy work coming up and over the food rack.....it was not good. Moments after that, I heard an "Oh my God!" from the 4th aisle, as a lady passed through the offending cloud. I innocently and obliviously looking, picked a can of coffee off the shelf and rounded into the 6th aisle. I'm pretty sure there was just a hint of a smile on my face....but I tried to look just as board as everyone else.
Later, I did fell kind of bad about it.....but I didn't have much choice. It was either do what I did....or blow up and cause myself an injury. Lady luck smiled on me today.
New pics in the folder, buddy!
I'm feeling a little tired this weekend, so I'm just going to rest and relax. Goose has to work a lot during the holidays. He's working tonight until 12:30 or so. I just had a delicious dinner with the Glove, Vinyle, and mAllenfoto. I'm back home now n the comfy couch doing my SGing.