"dearest friend I wish I'd never kissed...."
hello.
so this isn't going to be the most connected of journal entries, and I think it might be my last. For a little while or a long while I don't know yet, but for a while at least. You don't know how much I'll miss you guys; you really don't....
Its been a week when so much has changed, and as I guess a few of you know, I'm not too good at that. I get stuck in the past too easily and hold onto stupid silly dreams that I should have forgotten about years ago, and the past week has been a real lesson in having to live in the here and now and other such cliches. I'm just no good at getting up and moving on and i'm so envious of everyone who seems to manage it somehow (how?). I think this is what they call a reality check?
So if nothing else, she taught me a lesson that I needed to learn. I just wish it didn't make me feel sick, and feel like everything that I was so suddenly, amazingly sure about boils down to What? exactly.
God, what do I sound like! somebody want to drop by and give me a slap?
right now I need:
a new job (just quit my stinky old one)
a new city (a change of scene, a change of style)
a new face
new glasses. I'm bored with these ones already
to do more painting.
a new flat
and a fucking hug, goddamit.
See you about, ok?
thank you especially ava llona heather cherry ophelia
and all the rest of everyone, everywhere.
xxxx r
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okay, so I'm having second thoughts. It's just been a weird strange confusing week and my head is, quite literally, all over the place. But after trying to go cold turkey on this place (for a WHOLE day) I'm realising I'd just miss it too much.
really.
but you have to slap me if I start being too much of a drama queen, okay?
hope today's okay for you, I'm off to work (three weeks and counting).
random thought for the day: what was/is your silly impossible dream, and what would it take, right now in the real world, to make it happen?
I want to be a Tea buyer. Spend my life travelling the world and tasting tea...
xxxxx r
hello.
so this isn't going to be the most connected of journal entries, and I think it might be my last. For a little while or a long while I don't know yet, but for a while at least. You don't know how much I'll miss you guys; you really don't....
Its been a week when so much has changed, and as I guess a few of you know, I'm not too good at that. I get stuck in the past too easily and hold onto stupid silly dreams that I should have forgotten about years ago, and the past week has been a real lesson in having to live in the here and now and other such cliches. I'm just no good at getting up and moving on and i'm so envious of everyone who seems to manage it somehow (how?). I think this is what they call a reality check?
So if nothing else, she taught me a lesson that I needed to learn. I just wish it didn't make me feel sick, and feel like everything that I was so suddenly, amazingly sure about boils down to What? exactly.
God, what do I sound like! somebody want to drop by and give me a slap?
right now I need:
a new job (just quit my stinky old one)
a new city (a change of scene, a change of style)
a new face
new glasses. I'm bored with these ones already
to do more painting.
a new flat
and a fucking hug, goddamit.
See you about, ok?
thank you especially ava llona heather cherry ophelia
and all the rest of everyone, everywhere.
xxxx r
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
okay, so I'm having second thoughts. It's just been a weird strange confusing week and my head is, quite literally, all over the place. But after trying to go cold turkey on this place (for a WHOLE day) I'm realising I'd just miss it too much.
really.
but you have to slap me if I start being too much of a drama queen, okay?
hope today's okay for you, I'm off to work (three weeks and counting).
random thought for the day: what was/is your silly impossible dream, and what would it take, right now in the real world, to make it happen?
I want to be a Tea buyer. Spend my life travelling the world and tasting tea...
xxxxx r
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I for one don't find your dream silly at all. If it is something you desire and set your mind to you can do it. I LOVE Stash tea and make myself a nice brew of chai/soy/espresso for breakfast every day!! I spent an ungodly amount of money on my last order from them.
My dreams: Like i mentioned before, I need to forget about everyone else and focus on myself or I know it won't happen. Right now, my rommate has taken over my spare house with music related equipment. In the near future it will begin to be replaced with my photography studio equipment instead. I hope he moves out soon. Then I'm going to dive into my photography and website more.
Longterm, I want an animal sanctuary on my own property. But that's another story - hearts - SQP
Tea buying sounds wonderful. And I'm sorry there's so much drama going on with you, I'll steal you away and make you go shopping with me and then we can pretend the world doesn't exist and spend all our money on having fun.
I think there's some weird karma shit going on for lots of people. I feel the same way:new job, new city, new face, new friends, I want my whole life to be different.
My silly impossible dream is just to have loads of money and not have to worry about it ever again. Of course, the more money you have, the more you have to worry about it, so.......
xo