rylie

some people make me sick.

I found out this weekend from my best friend and sometimes flame (who I work with), that select things that only I know about him are being spread through the office. in addition to these select things, are several random lies.

Apparently someone at work approached him in confidence (meaning I'm not allowed to know who told him this) to tell him the rumors that are going around that I'm telling people. They include details that are supremely private and things that while I should have never told anyone, I only told to 2 people who I trust more than supremely to never repeat. Those are the truths that are being spread. then there's the lies. things I would NEVER have said that at this point, having been mixed in with things that were true, he believes I've said.

I have suspicions as to who would do this. Theres a girl at work who has recently been trying really hard to start hanging out with me and be totally best buds. but alas, I've not told her any of these things and based on the fact that some are true, I'm really confused as to how she would even know about them.

I mean she slept over at my house once after a night of partying, did she like, somehow magically find my journal (yes, I'm a 12 year old girl and I keep a journal) and read it while I was in the bathroom? what the fucking fucking fucking fuck?


Whose Idea of fun is to say these things?

He's really hurt, I'm really hurt, and to what benefit?

who gets what out of this deal? I get to spend the next however long it takes trying to make amends and get my best friend to trust me again. I get to sleep alone for the next foreseeable future. He gets to evaluate the feeling of betrayal i've given him and figure out how to ever trust me again. he gets to deal with me being really really upset about this when I'm sure he'd really like to be mad at me.

and what does the rumor spreader get? is there a sweet satisfaction that comes with tearing a gap in someone's relationship? does she get to feel smug that he believed her over me because somehow she learned personal information that she had no right knowing or sharing?

I don't know how to fix this.
I haven't been is a rumor war since jr. high.

I'm thinking I'll need a pick-axe and some lime juice.

patrick bateman style yo.



(on a super cute guilt admitting measure, the dumb bitch tried to talk to me via work's instant messaging today and when I continuously chose not to respond to any of said messages, she got mad and said she didn't know why I'm ignoring her but she didn't do anything wrong so whatever. now when you're friends with someone and they start ignoring you at work where they have a job to do, do you immediately jump on the defense and denies without accusation that you've done nothing wrong, or do you question whats wrong and if the person is okay? whether or not this girl actually is guilty as I suspect, she fuckin' creeps me out so yay for me.)