i'd be lying if i said that i was alright.
i'm not. i'm a fucking mess.
work is getting to be more stressful than ever. i'm seriously on edge at all times now. my phone wont stop ringing with problems at my accounts. they are the stupidest phone calls. i seriously am about to lose my mind everytime i hear my phone beep with a new message. nothing has been going right all week or month. to top things off last friday my junior account rep's father passed away. with it being a holiday week, everything with the services etc have been pushed back. so he hasnt been at work since friday, so i have had to pick up the slack on his end.
my body and my mind are drained of any emotions and motivation.
i have not been eating well at all, and its starting to show. same goes for drinking. that's all i have been doing lately. and while i hate to admit it, 85% of the time its because im drinking because im trying to forget about things and drink my porblems away. the only thing that is doing is making me sicker and wearing me down.
i will also admit that i really am severly depressed and lonely right now. last night i went to my co workers, father's wake. it got me thinking about a lot of things about life. afterwards chad and i went out to the fox and hound to have a drink and grab some food. while there he invited this girl whom he just started seeing. we got to talking about some things and eventually, i dont know how it was brought up, but we started talking about relationships. and out came all the stories of my past...
after that was said and done, i got really bummed out on my way home. its been over a year since my last "relationship" and i feel as if i am never ever going to be in another one. i know thats silly to say and its probably not true. but this is the way i feel right now. and nothing can really change that. i just cant shake this feeling inside of me.
im on the verge of a mental and nervous breakdown.
i'm not. i'm a fucking mess.
work is getting to be more stressful than ever. i'm seriously on edge at all times now. my phone wont stop ringing with problems at my accounts. they are the stupidest phone calls. i seriously am about to lose my mind everytime i hear my phone beep with a new message. nothing has been going right all week or month. to top things off last friday my junior account rep's father passed away. with it being a holiday week, everything with the services etc have been pushed back. so he hasnt been at work since friday, so i have had to pick up the slack on his end.
my body and my mind are drained of any emotions and motivation.
i have not been eating well at all, and its starting to show. same goes for drinking. that's all i have been doing lately. and while i hate to admit it, 85% of the time its because im drinking because im trying to forget about things and drink my porblems away. the only thing that is doing is making me sicker and wearing me down.
i will also admit that i really am severly depressed and lonely right now. last night i went to my co workers, father's wake. it got me thinking about a lot of things about life. afterwards chad and i went out to the fox and hound to have a drink and grab some food. while there he invited this girl whom he just started seeing. we got to talking about some things and eventually, i dont know how it was brought up, but we started talking about relationships. and out came all the stories of my past...
after that was said and done, i got really bummed out on my way home. its been over a year since my last "relationship" and i feel as if i am never ever going to be in another one. i know thats silly to say and its probably not true. but this is the way i feel right now. and nothing can really change that. i just cant shake this feeling inside of me.
im on the verge of a mental and nervous breakdown.
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im right there with you. its been about 4 years since ive had a serious relationship. thats more than just a dry spell i think.
anyways, i dont really have any advice, but youre not alone