rye8

last night i was supossed to get together with andrea to talk about some things. i went out with joe, chris and steve to get my mind off things for a bit. i couldn't eat all day. and not even 20 minutes into working, i had to leave. i was on the verge of tears all day long. i sat and waited for her to call. i figured she wasnt going to call. we sat and watched movies for a bit. jeff, aubrey, her friend and all of us watched some looney tunes. which by the way is my favorite thing in the world. i couldn't sit and hang out any longer. i kept feeling sorry for myself. i had to come upstairs because i felt the need to cry my eyes out. i never thought i could love again, but then i met her. i can't stand being away from her. it's killing me inside.

i moped around all day today. wanting to call her. i picked up the phone about 20 times. started to dial and hung up. i finally called and left a message. 10 minutes later she calls back. said she left a message while i was out yesterday. i think dave erased it. so now she thinks im lying and didnt call her back. part of my on going excuses she says. she was short with me on the phone. i said i missed her and cant stand being apart from her. she didn't say anything. i said i wanted to get together to talk. that i wanted to change the way things were. she said she didn't want to break up with me but didn't want to get hurt. then said she is "metting up with someone tomorrow" and we will talk on tuesday. something sounds fishy. we hung up. and i started to cry. i miss her voice already...