wellll...the week starts tomorrow, another fucking week full of job hunting, god damn economy, or maybe its me and i suck, i dont fucking know.
earlier i was thinking what the point of human life is and came to no decent conclusion, just thought id throw that out there.
other than that, the move is starting to affect me, its been a month now and i really miss my friends, my drugs, my life really, its strange not going out and partying every night, i guess its good but i dont really see how, it feels like im just trying to live like any other "normal" person, 9-5 same fucking routine day after day after day, and that is not me, fuck that shit.
im cursing like a sailor in this blog because i just got home from staying the weekend at my other cousins house, and they are fucking super jesus nazis, and they reminded me why i havent seen them in 3 years. its there family is soooo crazy, i haven't gone 3 days without hearing a cuss word in i dont know how long. the 2 sons, 18 and 23, ARE BOTH FUCKING VIRGINS, crazy huh, i told them there the only virgins i know haha. and the 23 year old has had the same girlfriend for 5 years, but there saving themselves for god, so insane. they seriously will turn off a movie with anything sexual in it, they have never tried drugs, drinking or anything. its crazy cuz i come from a completely different background, i mean im a junkie, my moms addicted to benzos, my dads a fucking lunatic, most everyone else is an alcholic, and they SEEM like a perfect family, everyone has there trials and tribulations and such but you know what i mean.
well to wrap this up they took me to church this morning, for the first time in like 3 years, and any belief in god i had left, which was slim to none, is completely wiped. there preacher was so fucking judgemental it made me fucking sick, nothing makes me more mad than a judgemental person, to wrap his sermon up into a sentence. "if your not doing missionary work your not doing god's will and you might as well not even call yourself a follower."
sorry if i seem like im just ranting, im in that kind of mood.
PEACE
earlier i was thinking what the point of human life is and came to no decent conclusion, just thought id throw that out there.
other than that, the move is starting to affect me, its been a month now and i really miss my friends, my drugs, my life really, its strange not going out and partying every night, i guess its good but i dont really see how, it feels like im just trying to live like any other "normal" person, 9-5 same fucking routine day after day after day, and that is not me, fuck that shit.
im cursing like a sailor in this blog because i just got home from staying the weekend at my other cousins house, and they are fucking super jesus nazis, and they reminded me why i havent seen them in 3 years. its there family is soooo crazy, i haven't gone 3 days without hearing a cuss word in i dont know how long. the 2 sons, 18 and 23, ARE BOTH FUCKING VIRGINS, crazy huh, i told them there the only virgins i know haha. and the 23 year old has had the same girlfriend for 5 years, but there saving themselves for god, so insane. they seriously will turn off a movie with anything sexual in it, they have never tried drugs, drinking or anything. its crazy cuz i come from a completely different background, i mean im a junkie, my moms addicted to benzos, my dads a fucking lunatic, most everyone else is an alcholic, and they SEEM like a perfect family, everyone has there trials and tribulations and such but you know what i mean.
well to wrap this up they took me to church this morning, for the first time in like 3 years, and any belief in god i had left, which was slim to none, is completely wiped. there preacher was so fucking judgemental it made me fucking sick, nothing makes me more mad than a judgemental person, to wrap his sermon up into a sentence. "if your not doing missionary work your not doing god's will and you might as well not even call yourself a follower."
sorry if i seem like im just ranting, im in that kind of mood.
PEACE
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