russo

I only want a few things.

I want it to be chilly, not cold, but fall chilly. I want to wear a big hoodie. I want to sit outside at night around a bonfire. I want to smoke weed. I want to take pills. I want to laugh with friends. I want to be jealous of my friend's relationship. I want boys to treat me like shit. I want to be 15 again. I want to drive down the interstate with the windows down on a full-moon night. I want to sit in the grass cross-legged. I want to be alone. I want to WORK for something. I want my dad to die. I want to sleep all day. I want to be back in high school. I want to want to quit taking my medicine. I want to cry. I want to puke. I want to fight with Corinne. I want to steal a 15 year old boy away from his girlfriend. I want to lay on a granite table. I want the boys that I want to want me back. I want to ride in a shopping cart. I want to sleep on the pavement. I want to walk in the snow. I want people to shut up. I want this headache to stop. I want my mother to not go to Napa Valley this week. I want to figure out what to do with my life. I want my dad to call me beautiful. I want his money. I want people to stop giving me things. I want to sit in a tree. I want to smoke a cigarette. I want to ruin my life. I want to make my life better. I want to cut off these scars. I want better music. I want to hitchhike. I want to gouge out my eyes. I want to cut out my tongue. I want to go to Baltimore. I want a cinderblock house. I want my own apartment. I want to remove my uterus. I want to see my baby cousin. I want to be in a plane crash. I want to be strangled to death. I want to drown. I want to be shot. I want to be sliced open. I want to be in a car accident. I want to tell people what I'm thinking without them being afraid of what I say. I want to have a passionate love affair.

I guess that's all I want.