rushlight

Not too shabby a night, as nights go for me. I worked again, after going on a 2-party bender Saturday night. Que the flashback:

Started around 10 at Kirby's birthday. This was on the patio at Sambuca Jazz Cafe down in Dallas. Open bar, all paid for (OMGWTF?!?!?! or something). That wasn't too hardcore as my drinking goes. Then Matt and I skipped and went to meet up with Del (coworker) for Adam's (another coworker) birthday. That was some serious debauchery. I've never seen so many gay men in one bed before (and no, I wasn't in on that stuff).

Ok, back to last night. Aside from having the hangover brigade doing a tap routine on my forehead, I was ok. Then I started letting my mind wander. Started missing people I haven't talked to in a while; thinking about relationships I thought were gone but rekindled in some form; all the times I fucked up and realized ipso facto. Why do I find it impossible to settle down with someone, even though it's the one thing I feel I really want right now? I've been a little too reclusive for as long as I can remember, and I know that's partially why my marriage went down the shitter. Regardless, I can't have what I want, and I don't want what I have. Yes, I sound selfish as fuck. I realize this, and I'm sorry for it.

In other news, I'm starting back to college in approximately two hours. I'm only taking 6 hours this semester, so I won't overload myself and burn out. When this semester is up, I'm going to explore the idea of moving back in with Matt out in Carrollton. He has a serious Pimpenhut (TM), complete with hardwood and excellent location (close to the pool \o/). I'm not dead-set on moving yet, but it's looking better and better every day. Time will tell.

Assuming Kirby ever gets the photos, I'll post them on here. I'm actually dressed decently (read: I didn't look like I'd crawled out from under a dumpster). Anyway, enough for now. More to come...