rushlight

eriously, I don't know how my day could get any more interesting.

Work is good most of the day. Then I manage to rip my pants straight up the front. Yes, the front. Fortunately I picked today to wear underwear, and it was 3 minutes before I got off work.

Afterward, I'm here at the house (let's say 5:15ish) and I'm outside smoking. I walk around the back of the house and notice a hose sticking out from behind the wheelbarrow.

"Odd...we don't have any hoses that color..."

*Peek closer*

"Nor do we have any with scales...."

So yeah. I found a snake in my backyard. I had to go show Dad, as he's deathly afraid of snakes. He helped me pin the fucker down using various gardening tools.




Then I grabbed hold of him...




...carried him across McDermott and Alma (read: 4 lanes of heavy traffic) to a vacant area and pitched him in the woods. On the way there, he squirmed enough to get his teefes in my hand, just behind my knuckle.



So here I am, walking in front of some very surprised motorists with a 3-foot long snake and blood running down my hand (with Dad in tow). All I could do was smile and snake-wave. That got me a chorus of cheers and honks. Even a cop at the stoplight had to applaud me.

So that's my day. Interesting, huh? I think I need a beer now.

PS - Yes, I look like a crackhead in those pictures. Fuck you for laughing.