For starters, I'd like to say I love my car dearly. It's fast, maneuverable, and cheap on gas. Plus, it can cook enough rice to feed a small Ethiopian village.
Given that, I would like to state that it'll be a cold day in hell, with Satan giving free sleigh rides, before I ever change the oil on that vicious bitch again.
Mind you, I can usually do an oil change in 10 minutes, with a minimal amount of muss and fuss. Today, it cost me half an hour, a tshirt, lots of bad language, and more than a few cuts and knicks.
For starters, I usually drop $2 for a couple disposable roaster pans at Stuffmart, as opposed to $4 or $5 for an actual oil pan. They're just as good, and you toss them when you're done. Apparently my car holds just a tidbit more oil than the pans will allow (figured out where this is headed yet?). So, I pull the plug and kick the pan underneath to catch it all. I smoke a cigarette. I suddenly notice a dark substance running out from under the car. A LOT of it. The oil has run over, and is still coming out. I managed to run to the garage, grab the other pan, and swap it with the first, just in time for the oil to finish draining.
*Fume* *Rage* *Annoyance*
That done, I spend the next 10 minutes playing peekaboo with the filter. That comes out finally, and I can't find the nozzle again to put the new filter on. 10 more minutes of peekaboo, during which time I manage to scratch and burn the holy hell out of my left arm on various parts of the engine block.
Fill engine with oil...
Now the worst part - cleanup. This wasn't "oops I dribbled" cleanup. This was "full contact anal sex" cleanup. Seriously, it was horrific. I went through a roll of papertowels, 3 shop rags, and my tshirt, just to get the puddle up underneath the car.
I won't even discuss what it took to get myself clean afterward. What with all the brown streaks and dirt spots, the shower looked like someone got mixed up with some bad mexican food.
Anyway, it's done for another few thousand miles. Eris help me the next time I get the urge to touch that engine.
Given that, I would like to state that it'll be a cold day in hell, with Satan giving free sleigh rides, before I ever change the oil on that vicious bitch again.
Mind you, I can usually do an oil change in 10 minutes, with a minimal amount of muss and fuss. Today, it cost me half an hour, a tshirt, lots of bad language, and more than a few cuts and knicks.
For starters, I usually drop $2 for a couple disposable roaster pans at Stuffmart, as opposed to $4 or $5 for an actual oil pan. They're just as good, and you toss them when you're done. Apparently my car holds just a tidbit more oil than the pans will allow (figured out where this is headed yet?). So, I pull the plug and kick the pan underneath to catch it all. I smoke a cigarette. I suddenly notice a dark substance running out from under the car. A LOT of it. The oil has run over, and is still coming out. I managed to run to the garage, grab the other pan, and swap it with the first, just in time for the oil to finish draining.
*Fume* *Rage* *Annoyance*
That done, I spend the next 10 minutes playing peekaboo with the filter. That comes out finally, and I can't find the nozzle again to put the new filter on. 10 more minutes of peekaboo, during which time I manage to scratch and burn the holy hell out of my left arm on various parts of the engine block.
Fill engine with oil...
Now the worst part - cleanup. This wasn't "oops I dribbled" cleanup. This was "full contact anal sex" cleanup. Seriously, it was horrific. I went through a roll of papertowels, 3 shop rags, and my tshirt, just to get the puddle up underneath the car.
I won't even discuss what it took to get myself clean afterward. What with all the brown streaks and dirt spots, the shower looked like someone got mixed up with some bad mexican food.
Anyway, it's done for another few thousand miles. Eris help me the next time I get the urge to touch that engine.
Bwuahahahaha
Hope you're doing better and cooled down with a cold beer.
Burns doing better? Blister at all?